Major John stepped out from his trailer on stilts
took out a viceroy and stared into the breeze
which blew a tumble weed out from highway 5
took a drag, thought to himself,
“glad to be alive.”
He watched the gilded bus speeding down to county Kern
felt the sweat on his shirt and the hat on his head to desecrate the burn
Saw a man through the window as the wheels spiraled down the road
Hombre waved and John flapped back that’s how the story goes.
Hombre Slumped in front of the prison, indignation, crowbar spine
A lot of punishment for a man who couldn’t pay the fine.
I’ll do what I have to do what i have to do to make amends
But the first step in this place I’m gonna be is to somehow earn some friends
He met another like him, Mr. Pen, who was in for some bullshit procrastination
slippery slopes puts a lot of men in across our united nation.
The man was a player with a heart of hope and love of business sense
when he ate an eggroll that Hombre made he nearly jumped the fence
we can make some money, and we can make it how
we’ll use a microwave, I’ll buy ingredients you just show me how.
They made the eggrolls and the eggrolls were hit
They charged a couple bucks for each
sold a batch real quick.
They decided to do this each and every day
So long as they had a steady string of customers who eagerly would pay
Mr. Pen got out and tried real hard to get a job
but couldn’t so he made eggrolls and sold them by the gob
An investor lent a hand to open up a fastfood joint
and wondered about the name to be that could anoint
I don’t need to ask a question, I won’t take any polls.
I already know the name of the restaurant, it’s called
Jailrolls.
When customers lined up it wasn’t much surprise
if it happened in prison
tastes even better with sunrise
The Jailrolls sold like hotcakes and he soon outgrew the shack
The investor was happy because he made his money back
How bout we open a restaurant somewhere fancy like beverly hills
you can help me hire and fire
manage and other thrills
Mr. Pen shook his hand and soon they were in business
with a ribbon cutting ceremony and a court appointed witness
The restaurant soon opened beautiful waitresses flitting bout
and the bartender who knew what every drink was about
and at the top of the menu now sold for a hefty price
were the good old jail rolls being sold with soup and rice
The stars came in critics declared
i do believe I’ve found the place
put every eggroll in the market out of work and out of place
pretty soon they even announced a disco club
and a rock and roll venue
and even an irish pub
And every place they owned there was drink and there was grub.
High rollin life rolls in fast and never comes for free
like honey, money attracts not just the honey bee
and the underworld wanted their cut
in the number one place to be.
When Hombre got out and called Mr. Pen
he was picked up in a towncar
The driver offered champagne
he said no
but felt like a star
They soon pulled up to Jailrolls
90210
Mr. Pen and came and got Hombre and said “Lets go!”
I’ve got something to tell you, so many things to show.
I want you to be my business partner, you can be my bro.
when they got inside hombre swallowed his pride and tried to beam his best
He was presented with a silver chalice and a golden moonbeamed vest
but when he saw the neon lights spelling jailrolls
Mr Pen
asked if Hombre liked it, gently he said no.
Its flashy, its gaudy its rude and it’s gauche
not my style at all, don’t mean to roast
but its making lots of money Pen replied thrusting his hand
and now we have a club where we can book your favorite bands.
Not really my thing said Hombre, I’d rather have a foodtruck
if you invest in me I could really turn a buck
So Pen bought hombre the coolest airstream in LA,
stocked the fridge with ingredients, bought a stove and a microwave.