Trust is fragile. Secrets and lies endanger trust and might harm us and our relationships — typically irreparably. We tend to all tell white lies. We say, “I’m fine,” when we’re not, compliment unwanted gifts, or perhaps fib that: The check is in the mail. However, in an intimate relationship, emotional honesty includes permitting our partner to understand who we are. Honesty is more than merely not lying.
Deception includes creating ambiguous or obscure statements, telling half-truths, manipulating data through emphasis, exaggeration, or minimisation, and withholding feelings or data that's vital to somebody who encompasses a right to know.
It affects the connection and deprives that person of freedom of selection and informed action. Though we could consider ourselves honest, few people reveal all our negative thoughts and feelings concerning the individuals we are near to. It needs bravery to be vulnerable and authentic.
There’s a natural want to hunt explanations and to understand additional facts. Aggrieved partners begin to review details of previous events and conversations, seeking overlooked clues and proof of lies.
They could inevitably be drawn to the painful conclusion that they and their partner are living in two very totally different realities, that they once believed were shared. If the relationship ends, both partners could suffer from shame and blame, combining grief.
Even if the relationship survives, there’s loss once trust is broken. Like all losses, our initial reaction is denial, if not of the facts, then of the severity of the impact. It may take time to simply accept the reality.
Each of us can attribute a distinct meaning to the facts so as to heal and reconcile with ourselves, our admired ones, and a disordered reality we once thought was safe and foreseeable.
