I don't get self motivation. I don't always get pleasure from masterbation or sex. I don't get any pleasure from drinking. I can't stand the smell of cigarettes or vapes. I can't eat pizza or lasagna die to tomato paste. I can't spend more then 15-30 mins somewhere. No one wants to mother and smother me. No one just want me to be a roommate for a couple of weeks. So I'm going back to self sabotage. Doing things I know arent fun but I feel like I've got no choice. I have no hobbies and no job. Nothing I say or do seems to be important or matter. Might as well feel something besides boring numbness. I have no other way of being useful.
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From @arandomuser75