I was beaten and I grew up a man
Such an argument in defense of hard methods of upbringing leads many, more often men.
And this, of course, is a false message: not everyone who was beaten grew up by people. Conversely, not everyone who became a human being was beaten as a child.
Contradictions of hard education
"I am preparing a child for real life, there will be no ceremony with him, he will not take it so much. It's better to let me pass the science. " It seems that it sounds logical?
But why does not it work? Firstly, in "real life", when a person grows up and touches as an adult with the adult world - that's a surprise - this cruel world often turns out to be much more normal than a parent's family or school, where the child was treated as the lowest in the hierarchy, without rights , humiliated: who can be beaten, who can be yelled at, who can be insulted.
When we face aggressors in adult life, in ordinary cases (we do not currently take violence), they are roughly equal opponents - at least they are the same adults, with the same rights.
But when an adult punishes (rigidly "educates") a child, explaining this by training, "science", a parent lesson, preparation for a harsh life, this training takes place in very different conditions than those that may arise in the future.
After all, between the parent and the child there is a situation of inequality: the adult is stronger, physically more, more authoritative. And the child is completely dependent on him.
Therefore, the fear of conflict with an adult in the child goes off scale. Also, the anger goes up, which is also blocked, because the adult does not allow himself to get angry and suppress resistance.
As a result, it is not preparation for future difficulties, but an unequal battle, in which the weaker necessarily loses. It's as if the boxers, preparing to compete in their weight, were forced to fight with opponents of a heavier weight class - they say it's useful to be able to defeat a stronger opponent, hard in teaching, easily in combat.
