I hate feeling this way … and people say … just stop … just stop feeling so bad …. It’s not so easy it’s not a switch … I am laying in bed …. Just not wanting to get up …… I want to just stay here under the covers for the rest of the day …. I don’t even want to move …. But unfortunately that’s not possible …. So I get up … I go to the gym …. I get to work …. And the cycle repeats ….. I’m just sooo done …. Why can’t people just be …. Why can’t people just leave everyone alone …… I just want to be alone …. No one to disappoint you …. No one to not be there when you need them to …. No one to rely on ….I just can’t take the bullshit anymore …I go to bed …. And the only thing that prevents me from
Hoping I don’t wake up in the morning …. Is these poor kids …… Sometimes I think to myself … that maybe they would be better off without me too ….. but I know that’s not true …. I know they still need their mom ….. and I know I need to be a better non for them
… bc even that I feel like I’m
Slacking at …. I don’t know … maybe that’s why I feel everyone should have children …. But maybe I’m the one who has it all wrong …. Maybe it’s those that want no children that are right …… it’s absolutely and easier life that way ….. my life would have been different if I didn’t have mu children … which in no way do I mean I don’t want or love my children …. But if I didn’t have them … I wouldn’t have stayed married as long as I did … I would have done a lot of things differently….. I dunno … there have been so many times … that I hoped cancer just took me away …… but the only thing in the world that makes me think differently is my kids … I dunno 🤷🏻♀️ …. Once they are adults … then … I don’t think I would be so worried about them … but I dunno … I don’t know anything anymore …
