Mean no harm - that was my excuse for a long time.
I have a friend, her name is Amara. She is a good writer on Hive, she is better than me. Last month, she posted her new apartment. She said "Finally got my own place in Abuja."
I commented: "Abuja rent is too expensive, I hope you can maintain it? Don't come back to village after 2 months oh."
I laughed when I typed it. I meant no harm. I thought I was joking, I thought it was cruise.
She did not reply. She just deleted my comment.
Later, another friend told me Amara was crying. She said my commeent made her feeel like I was waitingg for her to fail.......She struggledd for 2 years to save for that housse, and my joke brooke her heaart.
That night I could not sleep.
I meant no harm, but I did harm.
That is when I understood - "I mean no harm" is not a shield. You cannot throw stone at someone and say "I mean no harm, why are you bleeding?" If your words have thorns, the person will bleed, no matter your intention.
In Nigeria, we have this habit of using "I mean no harm" to cover our jealousy, to cover our bad mouth. We say hurtful truth in the name of honesty. We say "I am just being real" but real without love is just wickedness.
Now, when I see someone's win - someone buys car, someone blows on TikTok, someone gets new job - I don't type fast. I breathe. I ask: Will my words lift them or push them down?
If I truly mean no harm, my words must heal, not wound.
Today I went back to Amara's post and I wrote: "Sis, your new place is beautiful. I am so proud of you. You inspired me."
She replied with 3 heart emojis. She forgave me.
Mean no harm is not enough. We must learn to do no harm, speak no harm, type no harm.
IMAGE SOURCE: AI