Dear Benny,
I’ve had my good days and my bad days. As we navigate life and grow older, i find myself cherishing the world I’ve built in my mind for inner peace because sometimes reality is a hard pill to swallow. Life throws challenges at us without asking, “can you handle it?” And having a friend who no longer feels like a friend… what do you even call that?
I’ve done things to impress you. I’ve tried to keep up with your lifestyle but, it doesn’t work for me. I thought I was holding on to a friendship, but in truth, I was holding on to memories.
You’ve changed. I’ve changed. And that’s okay, growing up does that. We see life differently now and we disagree on many things.
You once asked, “How did we change so much?” I guess I woke up. I realised I’d been loving the things you loved and hating the people you hated, not because you asked me to, but because i wanted our friendship to work.
I forced myself into your world, neglecting my own in the process. I was always the friend who showed up, who lent a hand, who kept the conversation going, forgetting that i needed someone to show up for me too.
Don’t get me wrong, i know you’ve tried to reach me. But i let my insecurities get in the way. So even if our friendship always felt one-sided, it’s not entirely your fault.
I need to open up more. I should speak my mind so you’ll know my likes and dislikes.
It’s been 10 years of friendship. This isn’t me cutting you off, it’s me facing reality. And right now, our realities are far apart.
I hope we can still check in from time to time. But for now, i think we should leave things at this bus stop. I’ll take care, and I hope you will too.
Mary.
From my collection of fictional letters
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