All I wanted was for her to reciprocate my love, but she kept hiding in her shell, seven days ago, I found a letter by my doorway.
My name is Daniel and I fell in love with a damsel named Tammy, I and Tammy met on the beachside Eight months ago.
I approached her that day because she looked lost in thought, I passed severally to get her attention but she was absent-minded, so I wore a beautiful smile, tapped her, and managed to say a few words to get her attention."Hello, I am Daniel, are you fine? you seem to be lost in thoughts."
The only response I got was "Hey, Tammy is my name and I am just fine."
That response proved my intuition was right as I felt Tammy's soul was tired, too tired of fighting, tired of trying, and tired of the chaos, she wore a worrisome look and I noticed goosebumps all over her skin, maybe she was cold, maybe someone said something hurtful to her, maybe she lost someone in death or maybe she just came to enjoy her own company, I kept guessing in my mind and was determined to find out why she looked so worried and maybe extend hands of friendship towards her.
"Do you mind, if I sit close to you?" I further asked.
"That's fine," she replied and when I sat down, Tammy stood up and left me, she headed toward the North, and my gaze was fixed on her when I notice how much of a pretty soul she is, she was quite tall, had a very attractive skin tone, her hair was quite spiky, she had a very modest physique and she smelt nice too.
" Do I go after her? I hope she doesn't say I am trying to harass her," I soliloquized, I stood up and walked slowly behind her, I could hear her muttering some words, but they were too low for me to catch the exact words and then I managed to call out to her. "Hey Tammy, I understand you wanna be alone at the moment but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be here".
I had already held my contact card hoping to hand it over to her as soon as she responded and thankfully she turned back," Thank you," she responded with a very faint smile. I immediately tried to give her my contact card, but she declined and handed me hers instead.
After a few days, I reached out to her on Telegram and we got talking almost every day, some days she was open and ready to talk, other days she acted defensive and restrictive, and it felt like she had built a magnificent wall around herself.
For the little time, she was open, I could tell that Tammy was a very loving soul, she had a very good sense of humor, and was a free-spirited person but other times when she acted defensive and restrictive I could tell her heart had been shattered, I could tell she was trying to fix her broken heart and she was too scared to give love another chance.
From the little conversations we had which were quite deep, she told me how she had been broken severally and how the pain she felt had changed her a lot.
"What broke you, Tammy?" I asked because I wanted to be a soothing balm for her healing soul and wanted to give her love and good care as I've also been a victim of failed relationships that almost cost me my life, I have shown her in several ways that I wanted her in my life, the only difference between both of us is, I had not given up on love and I was open to finding someone who was worth it, but she had shut the doorway to her heart for reasons best known to her.
"Dan, A lot of things broke me, people, pain, experiences, uncertainties, and a lot..." She responded without allowing me to make it right to the best of my ability. I kept hoping and praying she finds a reason to open her heart once again because the more I spoke to her, the more I loved her and wanted to be with her so badly.
After Eight months of trying to get her to break down the magnificent walls she had built around her, I started to get tired of trying, I wasn't drifting apart, but I felt there was no way she was ready to break down the walls until she decides to, so gradually, I stopped talking to her regularly, honestly, I was dying slowly because I wanted her and nobody else, but maybe giving her less of my time will also help me move on too and just remain friends with her.
Tammy tried to reach out to me twice on Telegram but I responded coldly, I gave her a monosyllabic response and replied pretty late which was very unusual of me, she could tell I was gradually giving up on her as she had a very high emotional intelligence quotient and after that day, she didn't reach out to me again.
After two weeks, a Saturday evening June 14th to be precise, I was home alone in my bed and in my feelings, tempted to reach out to Tammy, but I got myself distracted by seeing the latest movie on Netflix when I heard a knock on my door, "Who could that be?" I whispered because I knew I wasn't expecting anyone.
I stood up reluctantly and reached for my door, as I opened the door, there she was standing by the doorway, in amazement I uttered "Wooah, who do we have here?"
She kept mute for a couple of minutes and then she handed me a letter, "Take, read, you know where to find me if you need to," and then she left.
I opened the letter and this is what I found in it.
Dear Dan,
"I know I've not been the best of friends you wish I was. (I'm sorry)
I was only trying to find my balance, I was in the healing process of my previous relationship which damaged my soul and somehow too I am scared I might fail you.
For all the times you've shown me you care, I knew and I cared, but I was scared of being vulnerable around you, but then I realize we miss out on the shots we do not take, everything in life is a risk, even loving someone too is a huge risk, I have risked my heart a couple of times and it never worked in my favor, rather it cost me so much pain and anguish.
But for the few times we didn't speak, I realized that what I felt for you was way beyond likeness, I think I've fallen in love with you too.
Just last week Saturday, I made up my mind to give love a chance again and I want it to be with you as you've given me a lot of reasons to trust you once again.
However, a few days ago, I was diagnosed with a terminal illness and I fear for you, I don't want you to be miserable like i am when I am gone, I know how it feels to lose someone we love in death, and this time not just a random person but your favorite person.
I was only trying to protect your heart from shattering and also depriving myself of the kind of love I truly deserve.
Just so you know, I do love you and I love you enough to let you have a happy life free from pain and anguish.
I have less than a week to live and I have accepted my fate, you've been the most amazing person ever I've met in my life.
Your intentionality about me drives me crazy, so now that I've shown you my flaws and why I've been defensive, would you still care about me?
But even if you don't anymore, I understand that I pushed you away and I hold nothing against you.
Live.. Love.. And Prosper.
Love from Tammy the girl with a broken heart."
Before I finished reading that piece which pierced the deepest part of my heart, my eyes were already teary, I let out the tears in them, I sniffed, grabbed my car keys, and hurried down to the beach side where I first met Tammy, she was there again, sitting quietly beside the sea shores, I held her from behind, and hugged her so tightly.
"I want to be there for you for the rest of your life even if it's just for seven days, Tammy please let me in."
She finally opened the doorway to her heart and I made sure I loved her to the best of my ability until her last breath.
