Being a human, none of us is error free. We keep on making mistakes. Sometimes, the mistakes are hurtful to others. At other times, they have consequences for our own selves.
Sometimes, the mistakes are small enough to be ignored easily. At other times, they are too big to be overlooked. Well, it doesn’t depend on the size of the mistake always to get an eligibility criteria for being ignored. Some people are quite dramatic and have the ability to turn a mole into mountain. (May God not make us among them and save us all from such people 😊). There are opposite kind of people too. I mean the ones who overlook even considerable mistakes. (This kind is rare though)
There are different kind of people on the ground of how they evaluate their own and other people’s mistake, and how they react to their own and other people’s mistake.
Usually, we all have a tendency to look at others' mistakes more critically then our own. Like, for ourselves we have verdict “the incident happened”. For others we say “they did it” 😏
I think others’ unexpected (wrong) behaviors become more acceptable to us if we give them a benefit of doubt. Sometimes it happens that we get hurt by the behavior that the doer had no sense of being hurtful.
At other times, it happens that people are explicitly hurtful but they never accept (even within themselves) that they did anything wrong. They are pretty satisfied with their behavior. In their opinion they are justified and the one who sees them wrong is wrong.
There is another category of people. They are the ones who acknowledge their mistake within themselves but are never ready to accept it in front of others. They will fall into long arguments for justifying their behavior, and would never admit that they happened to make a mistake.
Another category is the one who not only acknowledge their mistake within themselves but also admit it to the one who was effected. I think they are the kind easiest to go with, aren’t they?
Their can be more categories. Such as the ones who are evaluate themselves as being mistaken even if they are not. (The reason might be some insecurities or low self-esteem and self-confidence). There are some others who do not think that they were wrong but they apologize anyways, just to get out of the hurdles.
Now the question is: which category of people I fall into. I think it is not justified to say I belong to one category or the other. My attitude has gone through variation over time, and across situations.
Years ago, I did a job as a teacher. A colleague of mine there advised me to apologize the authority without any argument whenever they rebuke you over your mistake. Boss is always right, you know.
I have found this advice quite valuable. When you know you are wrong and you are being reprimanded, the easiest way to get out of it is to apologize. Arguments, explanation and justification only worsen the situation when you are confronting an authority at the workplace.
Being a peace lover, my attitude is the same generally. When I know I have made a mistake, I don’t want to waste time in justifying my behavior. I ask for the pardon and try to learn from the incident.
Close relationship are sometimes most consuming area of our lives. There came a time when I started saying sorry for things that I knew I was not mistaken at. Just to maintain peace, I would apologize.
Maintaining peace at the expense of self-worth is not a wise trade, is it? When I realized the negative effect, I worked to bring a change in my attitude. I don’t go for apology for the things I feel myself right.
However, it doesn’t mean that I become too rigid to give an ear to other person’s point of view. I do consider other’s opinion and if it convinces me of my mistake I do accept it.
Though quite rare but it has also happened that I tried to justify myself in public despite knowing that my action was not justified 🙈. Nevertheless, I never feel good about any such action. My conscience feels embarrassed for a long time.
In conclusion, I am more of the person who would apology as soon as I realize that I made a mistake. Nonetheless, I have come to the realization that apologizing all the time (without necessarily being wrong) makes people think of as a weak person.
Therefore, where it is important to accept your mistakes to correct them, it is also important to know when you need to stay firm (when you are right) in order to not lose your self-worth.
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