Some bad event happens but since it was not so bad, you don't consider it such a big deal, so you go on with your life - thinking it will pass.
A few days later, however, you notice that you're feeling pretty down but you still try to ignore it -you say to yourself "I'm just feeling a bit off, that's it"
One week later you're in terrible shape; You didn't sleep well in days, it seems like the world is upside down, everywhere you look you see something bad and it seems that now your default mode is pessimism. What happened?
Well, that's what you get when you ignore the early signs and underestimate the power of negative thinking. You see, if you would have paid attention all the red flags were there but you didn't take them seriously until you had to.
Negative thinking tends to run on autopilot while positive thinking it's more of an intentional attitude. Negative thinking is like weeds in a garden while positive thinking it's like flowers and fruits - but where is the gardener? Well obviously that's you, and your mind is your garden.
Usually feeling bad comes from thinking bad, feeling good comes from thinking good. So the way you feel is a direct indication of how well you are taking care of your mind.
Just as a good gardener would take care of his garden every day by watering the plants cutting out of the weeds the same way you have to focus on the positive and what's good in your life every day and if you notice negative thinking, you should strike at the root and take it out as soon as possible, because if left unattended it will tend to grow until you can no longer ignore it.
Weeds are always detrimental to healthy plants because they tend to take more and more space and resources. The more negative thinking the less positive you will feel.
The problem is that although the principle is very simple to understand nobody does this on a daily basis and nobody's taking care of their "gardens" until it's too late. That's usually the time when you have to go to a therapist who will become your "gardener for hire".
Years ago I discovered two very important things about myself; First that I can do self-therapy and coach myself -literally talk things true when I noticed something; And second, I realized that I have to do this as often as possible just to avoid things piling up.
So how does it work? You have a bad negative event that prompts your reticular activating system to notice more and more of the same kind - meaning more bad things. This is where your mind starts to grow weeds by spinning in negative thinking patterns.
Because you let this run on autopilot over the course of a few days, you are going to notice more and more negative things, and then even if you see things that otherwise are not necessarily negative in any way, you will tend to give them a negative connotation or interpretation - we call that framing.
Between thinking bad and feeling bad it's just a matter of time and then you're going to use the feeling as confirmation that this is how you should feel. The more you accept this state of feeling bad, the more normal it will feel to you and the harder it will be to break out of the loop. So what can you do to break out?
Well, everything starts with awareness. Catch yourself thinking in negative patterns and then reframe thoughts in a more positive light. Also, you need to start noticing positive events and make an effort to attribute positive interpretations to things.
Positive thinking is a great attitude to feeling bad but it needs your active participation.