When depression decided to come visit my head again it brought along a friend, anxiety.
With a run of problems in my life anxiety fitted right in and made itself at home throwing out a couple of anxiety and panic attacks.
A trip to the doctor got me some tablets to help, I just needed to pop a pill when I felt an attack coming on and I'd calm down and be fine.
The anxiety continued and became more frequent as my mind wouldn't switch off and I worried about everything that was going wrong and coming up with other things that could possibly go wrong. Not even in my brief sleep could I escape as my dreams were full of things going wrong.
A return trip to the doctor got my tablets put up from 10mg to 40mg, surley that would flush the little bugger out of my head.
Things got worse over the weekend, it got violent.
A side effect of the tablets can be angry or violent outburst and it reared it's ugly head on Saturday. I don't remember any of what happened, one minute I'm sat at my computer then the next thing I'm in the back of a police car with handcuffs on.
Confused, you bet I was.
And still the anxiety and panic attacks kept coming resulting in an ambulance being called out to me on Monday after a really bad attack. The paramedic mentioned that sometimes my tablets can cause the thing it treats. Basically the high dose was fuelling my anxiety to higher levels.
So no more anxiety tablets and when I feel the start of an attack I'm just trying to relax and control my breathing. Not a full proof plan but as the problems we were having have got sorted and the anti depressants helping my mood I'm hoping the anxiety will get bored and move on now I'm not giving it free drugs to make it stronger.
So there you go, always read the leaflet in your tablet box and be forewarned about side effects, if you know about them you can be ready.
Sometimes a tablet just doesn't work the way it should.