You sent me a message, you are going to the mountains. Too much of the city was making you sick, so nature was going to do you some good. I was happy for you, nature for sure have a wonderful power. It is a pity there are no mountains here in the south, I was also in need of a break. It was summer over there, and here winter was raging. Some of the trees lost their leaves, nature started to be naked and dry. During winter the sun has a pleasant touch, it kind of hugs you with its warm.
One more day, I talk to people, smiling in the middle of "good mornings" and "good afternoons" that make me feel as dry as my little black berry tree that at this point has two or three leaves left. You also have the sun set. It is as colorful as a painting, pink and orange. It is funny to see the color defying winter. Flowers blooming and the sky painting itself pausing for a moment the bareness of the winter and its colors.
At this point I tell myself that I wish I could go somewhere, just to run away a little bit from all of this. But there's not too much were I could go. I like to listen to these rich guys talking on instagram, they always say we have to start a movement and if we don't do that we will always be in the same place. For a minute that makes me feel better, it starts a spark inside of me. But the poor one doesn't find were to continue, were to grow, and it ends up dying as well. Then I say that this is not my case, that I have to be gentle with myself. Then the tug-of-war starts inside of me. The difference is that in this one there are no winners, I just get tired and nothing happens.
But I have been planing a trip. It will be a long one, so I have to be sure to make all the preparations beforehand. It cut me to pieces to leave my family and friends behind, because I don't know when I will be able to talk with then again. My family has lost way too much these last couple of years, but what can I do? I must do what I have to do. Sometimes I'm afraid to go, I'm afraid to face the unknown all by myself, alone. But there are certain things that we have to do alone, no one can do it for us. I have been longing for this journey for some time now, it is time to accomplish it. In the beginning it will be hard for the ones that will be left behind. But human beings are very resilient, and at one point my absence will not be felt anymore.
Maybe after I find what I have been looking for I will come back. And we will all be reunited again, then I will have my true self and I will be able to celebrate life with all of you. We will celebrate in a away that I had forgotten you could do, and I will finally be happy again
