Hey, everyone!
I still don't know why I write, I think I'm a little stupid but, whatever keeps you going right? There's a very famous author that said that he wrote for his friends to like him better, I think it was Gabriel Garcia Marquez (never heard of him? He's good!). But with me I think is the contrary, I think I write to like me better. That's the beauty of internet right? You can write whatever you want and it's ok. God bless the internet and freedom of speech.
As much as I hate to recognize it I have depression. I don't like to use it as an excuse for things, but I don't have any other answer for this hot mess that I am right now. But there's just so much happening, life is happening and I'm just surviving it. When I was a kid I wanted to make a big scar in history, today I just want to be able to get out of bed! That very ironic how life turned out. What would child me say to me now? Did you ever had that problem? Do you have problems? Do you think people have problems?
Why am I asking that? There's this Portuguese man (again he's a classic in portuguese literature), his name is Fernando Pessoa. His Poem in Straight Line starts with this statement:"I never knew anyone who has received a beat/ Everyone I know have been champions in everything". That's how I feel when I scroll down my facebook, everyone is happy, someone is in Paris eating breakfast with her best friend, the other got the job of her dreams, the other is on vacations on whatever place. And I'm here, I won't see my best friend for the next year because she lives far away, I can't have vacations for the next year because I have to work, I suffer to do my job, I don't have a lot of friends and the few ones I have I'm lucky if I see then once a month. What's wrong with me?
The cherry on the cake is that stupid depression that doesn't let me enjoy the simple things but make me complain about life with a fake name on a website. Please tell me, am I alone on that? I don't want to be alone anymore.
