In 2021, I saw a TikTok that said “$100 can make you a millionaire.”
My heart believed it. My brain said “YOLO.”
I sold my PS5, borrowed from my cousin, and put everything into “the next Bitcoin.”
The coin had a dog. The dog had sunglasses. The devs said “to the moon.”
I renamed my shawarma guy to “CEO of my future.”
For 3 days I was rich in my head.
I checked charts every 2 minutes. I was eating rice, chicken, and hope.
Week 2: The dog coin did a backflip... straight into the ground.
Week 3: The devs deleted Telegram and their Twitter.
Week 4: My portfolio was worth exactly ₦1,240. And gas fee.
Landlord came. Light bill came. Shame came.
My crypto group chat went from “wen lambo” to “wen food.”
Now it’s 2026.
Every morning I sit down with cold water, groundnut, and sugar.
Stir. Drink. Garri.
Crypto didn’t make me rich.
But garri kept me alive.
And honestly? Garri never rug-pulled me.
Not every dip you buy will pump.
Some dips are just garri.