Tiya believed that great looks, killing handsomeness, stylish English, sturdy gym-style body make a perfect dream man!
Raul perfectly fitted that impressive image!
Killing smile… sturdy biceps… perfectly grown stubble… well toned abs… cool branded clothing… luxurious lifestyle…
Flowers showered on Tiya’s head when Raul himself proposed to her..
What a lucky girl!
Well, that's what everyone thought…
A year later, Tiya shared about her tryst with Raul.
The very butterflies that fluttered in her stomach thinking about Raul, were killed by him!
Tiya may come across as a doormat personality for allowing all the abuse, neglect and being taken for granted. But everytime she spoke out to him, he reciprocated with slaps, hair pulling, biting or scratching, banging her head on the wall, forcing himself on her; or the least, a verbal abuse or a blackmail…
Tiya always trusted that people are inherently good. And thought so was Raul. He may have done it just one last time.
Only there were too many ‘last times..’
My takeaways from Tiya’s story on what impresses in a man?
Looking pleasant and good matters. But just a good hot-looking dude with nothing else within is a hollow mannequin!
Yes, take care of your body. Look after it. Eat and be healthy. Have a fitness regime.
But a girl doesn't want you with a great body and no character, heart or soul.
Don't fret over branded clothing or flashy accessories either. Like they teach in many Bollywood/Rap songs..
- Be nice to people. Compassionate.
Kindness is sexy. Mocking others isn't.
Be gentle to others. Specially those who can't do much for you. The waiter, driver, servant, garbage trash carrier, the sales guy at retail store.
- Whenever possible, try to build or lift other people's self- esteem.
And yours too!
A guy with a very poor self-esteem sadly comes across as a turn off.
And so does an overly narcissistic, self centred, self obsessed jerk!
- Have your own mind to think.
So many guys allow themselves to become someone's puppets. Mother’s, girlfriend’s, wife’s.
Don't be a puppet.
Don't make a puppet out of another either.
- There is nothing hot about abuse.
About verbal foul language. About unwanted sexual oventures. About lifting your hand to slap, scare, crush or beat a weaker being.
And no.. don't even think about that little child in the wrong sense…
You may not.. but you know how many men have done that… You know how repulsive and heinous it is!
Child-abuse is dirty. Bad. Aweful. Terrible. Ugly. You get that? No one enjoys a forced sex!
- Chivalry never goes out of style.
Be an old school gentleman if possible.
- It's the small little things that matter to her the most!
You don't need to buy her too expensive gifts, an expensive vacation or that sumptuous seven star buffet…
An earnest ear that ‘really’ listens is sometimes all she really needs!
A lso, appreciate her. Genuinely.
Too many women crave appreciation from their men.. which they never receive.. not as much as they really deserve..
- The sexiest thing about a man is Ambition.
You don't have to own a mansion or dream of being the richest guy..
But have an ambition in life.
To write that book you always wanted to…
To fulfill your responsibilities to the best of your ability and intention…
To uplift and better the lives of those who look upon you…
To start that hobby again!
Passion is a hell of a turn on!
- Take the plunge. Show courage… Talk to her..
Don’t keep looking into your smartphone when you're spending time with her!
- And finally… accept your mistakes/ flaws/
limitations/ addictions/ distractions and work hard to overcome them.
Strive not to ‘impress’ a girl… rather, strive to be yourself. The best YOU that you can be.
Authentic. Consistent.
A man of values… character.. goals… ambitions and dreams…
Have a realistic stock of your goals, aspirations, strengths, weaknesses…
Be a good listener.
Choose ambition over arrogance… passion over pride… intellect over ignorance… niceness over narcissism… and humility over hatred…
A final note:
I chose Tiya’s story (that bears no resemblance whatsoever, to any living or dead person or character) just for the sake of illustration. In no way does the story imply or encourage stereotypes.
There are all kinds of people in the world…
Not every abuser has 6-pack abs…
Not every good-looking guy is a narcissist…
Not every ultra-masculine man has multiple affairs…
All kinds of people do all kinds of things.
What we do is what defines us and affects us.. and those around us…
Let us foster healthy, positive, appreciative, nourishing relationships…
Let us ditch media and cinema’s lessons on ‘cool’!
Let us not abuse nor allow ourselves to be abused.
Images taken from Google!
Thank you for reading this far…
2.7k Views · View Upvoters Updated Jan 25 · Author has 120 answers and 111.5k answer views Richa Sharma, Born to Fly!!
- Anytime she sent him a message, he thought it was an invitation to send dirty messages.
- He controlled everything she did.. but she had no say in any of his matters..
- He never allowed any talk or openness. Communication only meant physical intimacy…
- He never failed to remark how lucky Tiya was.. to have a guy like Him, who is adored by hundreds of girls…
- He also had the license to flirt as much as he wanted. Run parallel relationships. Chat, talk and sleep with as many girls as he wanted.
- He made fun of people. Of everyone. Hated kids on the block. Hated people in ‘low’ jobs or statuses..
- Tiya was just a ‘trophy’, showpiece, doormat or a puppet for him. Only his.
- She couldn't pursue anything she
