Greetings
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Hi guys, I have a mixed feeling sharing with you this, how I felt when I lost my father. I'm sad because I won't see him again but at the same time, glad because I'm about to express what I have bottled for a long time. As we know, the father -daughter relationship is always intriguing. My father especially, had me in his 50s, so I can say I'm a child of his old age. So, he was always fond of me. In fact, I was closer to my father than I am with my mother. While I was younger, my father used to pamper me and buy me things even when he had little. He would go to the farm and bring me roasted squirrels. He believed so much in my dream and always assured me that things would be better and that I would be great.
When I reached age 30, papa started disturbing me to get married. After some time I got married and few months into my marriage. My father started asking for grandkids. It used to be a lovely moment with him on the phone. He would pray for me and told me how anxious he wanted to carry my baby. I never knew death was already knocking at his door. Just around 6am in the morning on Wednesday, 22nd of January, this year, my phone rang and I was wondering why my sister would call me so early in the morning. Alas! My father was gone. Tears were rolling like river. I couldn't believe my ears, my heart melted like wax. I started asking myself why I had not made big enough to repay my father for all the love he showed me. I hadn't even…
It was a bad feeling. I kept blaming myself as if it would have been otherwise if I had made it bigger. I cried so bitterly, picked my bag and headed to the garage where I took the bus to my village to bury him. In short, since February, 2025 that my father died, things have not been the same. I wept anytime, anyday I remember him. I have also been inactive on social media. I would say I have been more reserved, keeping to myself since my father's demise. My partner did not even make it easier. He didn't console me for more than 3 days, maybe because he had been in the shoes before. He lost his mother at a tender age. So, he was too frank in his approach. He even decided not to be looking at my side whenever I cried about dad. He believed what happened is irreversible, so I shouldn't make myself sick over what has happened. Someone even told me that I should not cry now that special days when I will need my dad but see him not. That those are the days I would miss him and cry.
However, I have decided to deal with my pains in a better way that affects others positively. I have now taken it upon myself to take care of the elderly around me, especially, an aged man in my church. It's as if I transferred the love I had for my dad to him and trying to take care of him the way I would have taken care of my father if he were here. This man scared me so much, some weeks ago when he fell sick and I prayed to God not to allow him to die because the sorrow would be too much to bear. God answered my prayers. He's now hale and hearty. So, showing kindness to the elderly has been another way for me to deal with the pain of losing my father.
This is my entry to the hivenaija weekly prompt.
Thanks for reading.
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