This post may trigger some readers. Please do seek mental health professionals if you are struggling mentally. There are also some organizations that provide mental health support for free. All of us have experiences that are not pleasant. We may not remember some of these experiences, but some linger for a long time, causing us negative feelings.
Hello, Hivers! It’s me again. I want to share with you an overview of trauma and how it has affected the vulnerable ones I’m serving.
All traumas come from these:
*Emotional Abuse
*Physical Abuse
*Sexual Abuse
*Natural Disaster
Trauma varies in intensity. It can be acute trauma, resulting from a single distressing event such as car accident, natural disaster, physical assault, or witnessing a violent incident. It can also be chronic trauma, involving repeated or prolonged exposure to stressful or traumatic events over an extended period of time.
When we lose someone we love, we grief, which is natural response. However, when we lose someone through accident such as hit by a truck, or killed by someone, the grief can have a long lasting effect.
“Grief heals. But like medicine, it has an expiry date and can become toxic” – Bo Sanchez.
I myself had a trauma with dogs when they bark because I witnessed my older sister getting bitten by an unleashed dog at night when I was around 9 or 10 years old. Every time I walked on the street and saw dogs (not even barking), my heart would beat fast, and I decided not to continue walking. Sometimes I froze or even bit my tongue, believing that dogs would not bark if I did so. I remember one time when I was going to school, I saw dogs barking and I turned back and took another longer path, which made me late for school.
I carried this fear for years, and it took me a while to overcome it. People around me advised me that I had to face the fear, like continuing to walk even when dogs were around or barking, and not running away. I followed this advice, along with having faith and calling on Jesus’ name. It worked over the years. Presently, I still get triggered when dogs bark at me, but I can manage my responses now.
So, imagine these children I’m serving have been sexually abused, and that comes with emotional, mental, and physical abuse as well. They are being abused by the people they trusted the most. How can they move forward from this? How can they trust the people again?
The hardest and longest thing to heal is the relationship. It has a severe impact on their psychosocial and spiritual well-being.
Children are fragile.
I accompanied these children to court hearings. Before the day of their court hearing, the children were prepared first because most of them were terrified, anxious, and scared of what would happen next. They would ask questions like if they would tell what really happened, would their parents be in jail? Despite what their parents or loved ones did to them, they still love them. I witnessed the battle they were facing. It was heartbreaking hearing these children testify in court against their parents, telling traumatic stories of how the people they loved exploited them. I had to hold back my tears seeing and hearing them retell detailed stories on how they were being abused in exchange for money or their trusted adults were on drugs.
Imagine, they will carry this for the rest of their lives.
TRAUMA SYMPTOMS
Most of the children I’m serving manifest nightmares, flashbacks, numbness of emotions, hyperarousal, negative changes in cognition and mood, physical symptoms such as constant complaints of body aches.
While at the center, I have experienced instances where, during their sleep, they would suddenly shout, cry, and move their bodies as if someone was holding them. They often say ‘ayaw na’ (stop). Some of them would even reenact what happened to them before.
During one of my counseling sessions with these children, they would describe themselves as dirty because they were used by their trusted adults. Some of them, after the abuse happened, they found themselves not being aware of themselves or feeling ‘tulala’. They often engage in sex, vices, or like they become rebellious.
We sometimes label a person who constantly seeks attention as an attention seeker. However, if we trace back her or his childhood days, she or he may have experienced some trauma or neglect from parents. As I slowly understood this, I changed my perspective from seeing a child seeking attention to seeing a child seeking connection.
So, if you know someone who suddenly changed their behavior/attitude, ask them how they are doing. They may have experienced or be experiencing unpleasant events in their lives. I am praying that these children will heal from all the wounds they have. This blog is for everyone who may also experience any abuse, that there is still hope.
BE KIND AND GENTLE TO EVERYONE