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Hello, Hivers! I am sharing you the real-life story of one of the children I’m serving., focusing on how she faces the impact of her traumatic experiences and how she is striving to survive.
She is D (not her real name). She was sexually molested by her own father, who is still at large. She is also a victim-survivor of physical abuse by her own father. When her father arrived home very angry, he would beat her with a wire or any material he could find and throw at her. She suffered neglect from her parents and grew up without her basic rights as a child. Her learning capacity was affected as well. Although she is already 14 years old, she has only finished Grade 2 and could barely read when she arrived at the center. She had not even been baptized and registered with a name and nationality. Her skin displayed numerous scars from scavenging and from her father’s beatings.
During her first week at the center, she was very quiet and preferred to spend time alone. She was observed to have frequent breakdowns and cried a lot. She thought of herself as dirty and lacked confidence in her physical appearance because of her kinky hair and severe tooth decay, which hindered her from smiling. She resorted to self-harm whenever she faced challenges or problems. Sudden shouts or noises triggered her. She was not used to taking care of her personal hygiene.
The physical and sexual abuse that D experienced has led to the disturbed life she is currently living. This has profoundly affected her psychosocial and spiritual well-being. Additionally, she suffered neglect from her parents, which has influenced her behavior, driving her to seek more attention and a sense of belonging from those she feels comfortable with. Unfortunately, this sometimes manifests in unhealthy ways, such as informing people that she is holding a sharp object and threatening to harm herself.
I engaged with her like by having small talks, guiding her through the daily routine at the center. Essentially, I was establishing rapport and connecting with her to fully understand her.
After months of staying at the center, I conducted eight one-on-one therapy sessions with her to help her to talk about and process her traumatic experiences. During our sessions, she slowly began to understand the situation she experienced and its impact on her.
The first session was about getting to know herself. The second session focused on understanding emotions. The third session included breathing exercises and techniques, and other emotional strategies. The fourth session involved learning about the cognitive triangle: how thoughts affect feelings translate into actions/behavior. The fifth session was about learning the types of abuse and understanding trauma. The sixth session covered trauma narrative and processing. The seventh session involved learning personal safety skills. The eighth session focused on hopes and dreams for her life.
Presently, at the age of 14, she has been baptized and registered with the help of her previous social worker, who coordinated and facilitated the process. Day by day, she was taught to practice coping thoughts when difficult situations arose, and it was noticeable that she tried her best to implement this. It had been a while since she was last seen holding sharp objects whenever she faces challenging situation.
She is now experiencing all the basic rights and needs of children. She expresses that she feels loved and blessed to have them. She has expressed how grateful she is to the staff. There are times when she would randomly say thank you to the staff. They would ask her what for, and she would respond, ‘for taking care of her and her co-residents’.
She is now having a one-on-one tutorial with our resident teacher at the center. She can slowly read, spell, and do basic math, and she will be enrolled in Grade 3 in the next school year.
She is smiling confidently now because her teeth have been fixed. There is still a lot to work on with her, but she has shown openness to receiving help and is thriving. She values herself more now.
I hope and pray that one day, she will be where she wanted to be.
