If there's any area of your life you must guard so well, it should be how you give access to people and who you give access to.
I'm saying this because there is a big misconception people have, it's that everyone is their friend.
Why?
Because the person smiles at you all the time, or talks to you in a friendly way. You automatically think he/she is your friend.
The thing is, a lot of people do not know that there's something called a boundary when it comes to getting close to people. They just jump and the next thing, you cannot just explain what's going on.
Whether the word friend has no meaning to you or it does, you should understand that not everyone is your friend. In fact 80% out of the 100% you know may not be your friend. You could think you're friends with them only to realize that you're in the relationship alone or they could be thinking same. That's why it's important to define relationships in the beginning and set boundaries.
And for access, not everyone should be in your circle. This one isn't pride, it is you knowing who you want around you and why.
This is because they are people you give access to that will be the reason of your downfall in the future, please read this again.
Irrespective of good looking they are, with good intentions and all, you do not need some people. It's better they stay from the audience and watch you or clap for you. I can't explain more for now.
When starting new relationships, let them know there are boundaries. Talk about them and do not assume they know. Most people suck at relationships and might not know.
These boundaries are not for the present but for the future too. No matter how much of a public figure you are and you think you are loved, I hate to break this but people only come to you because of what they can get from you and not because they really LOVE YOU as you think.
See, there's an hierarchy when it comes to people that make important decisions in government, even you will agree that a floor member cannot have access to the highest order irrespective of how good his intentions are.
I am asking you to create a hierarchy for your own relationship life, not everyone should know deep things about you. Like how do let people wander and boom they know everything about you within a snap of a finger?
Set boundaries please. Even circuses have security. They don't mind whether it's a place people come to get entertained or not. So why would you life be without you securing it?
Personally, I look out for boundaries when I meet new people, I see how they give access to others and make my deductions. You can't blame me. Anyone that gives full access just like that Is a red sign for me.
I'm not saying be hard on people, I'm saying people should not just waltz into your life and waltz out when they feel like (well, they can waltz out of the want to but not in). These things are important. As far as you're going to be working with people with the rest of your life, set boundaries.
Tell your friends to set boundaries, tell the people you know to set boundaries. E no fresh to hear your wife's/husband's employee call him or her baby😂😂😂😂 (Premium explanation and may God help you) it's not fresh to hear a mentee calling a mentor baby too or the reverse. They might not necessary have anything going on except the mentoring session but the problem is where they failed to set boundaries.
Don't wait till you get to over know the person, set boundaries from the beginning. It will save you from a lot. Whether it's your friend, an acquaintance, someone you smile at, someone you know and the "person knows you too or someone that doesn't know you but you know the person." Set boundaries!!!
I do this because I know how people can be.
Expectations come in when you fail to set boundaries and in a lot of cases, you will not be able to meet them.
This will save you stress and plenty talk. It will save plenty explanation. I cannot make you feel like you're in my circle when you're not, I'm very careful about this. Whatever i do, I look out for feelings first because I know what it feels like to think you're in something serious, only to realize you were in it alone. It's painful and so discouraging. So to avoid anybody having expectations or feeling disappointed because of one thing or the other, set boundaries and make life easier for you and others.
Let them know there is a limit to everything and make it known in the most polite way you can. So it doesn't affect your reputation, business and all. I'm saying this because I have seen what reserved bitterness can do.
Set boundaries and do so with wisdom.
Always remember you're dealing with people and people are full of surprises.
I hope this helps you
