"I love you. Please don't often get angry at me, I'm afraid ... "said this narrow-eyed man softly, staring at me. those eyes. quiet, dim, sparkling, I like finding happiness in it. I only replied with a smile, a happy smile. His name is Dika.
"I ..." I was unable to continue my words, embarrassed. maybe he understands with this smile of mine.
"It's already late, go home yu. I'm afraid you'll be in the house late. it's not good if a girl comes home late in the evening "while standing, Dika waits for me to answer her invitation. I also stood up, walked alone with him to the parking lot. he took his bicycle and I walked to the school gate while waiting for the city transportation.
"I go home first dear," Dika's voice startled me, when he was about to answer, he had sped away with his bicycle. Today I spent with him since coming home from school earlier.
Dika and I have been dating for more than a month. Precisely on November 27, 2013. During this month I always share jokes and laughter, sedi and happy. Tells about Dika, about her family, even about the problems. Vice versa. I love him very much. In the figure that I really admire. In my senior class at my school, my introduction to her happened accidentally. We accidentally met at school time after school. At that time I was working on assignments with my three friends, and at that time there was a task that we did not understand. And I accidentally saw him sitting alone not far from where we were doing his work. I tried to approach him, intending to ask him for help. I liked it at first sight. we are getting closer, even very close. long before I met him, I had known him through my dreams and prayers. he is the answer to my prayers. Initially I asked why we were brought together? The answer is destiny. Yes destiny. It was fate that brought me to that place, the place where Dika was alone and I felt that Dika needed someone. Slowly I approached him, wanting to know him further. Initially Dika refused, ignored and indifferent. But in the end it was fate that united me and Dika as they are today. I'm happy with it, so happy. a place where Dika is alone and I think Dika needs someone. Slowly I approached him, wanting to know him further. Initially Dika refused, ignored and indifferent. But in the end it was fate that united me and Dika as they are today. I'm happy with it, so happy. a place where Dika is alone and I think Dika needs someone. Slowly I approached him, wanting to know him further. Initially Dika refused, ignored and indifferent. But in the end it was fate that united me and Dika as they are today. I'm happy with it, so happy.
From: Sipit
I want to say something. After school I wait for you near the security post.
A short message from him entered my cellphone. I read it. I thought strangely to myself. why do you want to say just have to say first? I felt something was wrong. After school, I immediately rushed to the security post. He was standing there, anxiously waiting for me. Maybe he has been waiting a long time.
"What do you want to say?" I said while approaching him who was standing near the security post.
"Come sit" he replied while cleaning the terrace in front of the security guard's post. I obeyed, I sat next to him. The distance between us is far, I don't want to sit close to him. For fear that if there are other teachers or students, it can cause slander.
"I know when you care about me, you also want to be noticed. I know that while you wait for a long time, you want me to see your struggle. I know when you see other people being so close, you want us to be like them. I know when you are disappointed in me, because you are disappointed not once but many times. I know when you don't talk to your dad that we're dating, because you're afraid your dad will forbid it. I know you love me so much when I saw your work about me. And I don't know whether you will be able to repay your sincere love, affection and love, ”his voice felt heavy. Like holding back something. Dika looked at me, it's just that I looked away. I do not want to see the sad look on his face.
"But at least you also have to be able to spend time for me. Just a little "I replied. I did not dare look him in the eye, it feels heavy if I have to do that.
"Sorry if all this time I rarely pay attention to you. You know that I'm busy? But you must remember. I'm not always busy, there is definitely time for us to be together. Trust me "he said" I know I'm wrong, but please understand me "he continued. His vision was far away. I don't know what's on his mind, I don't know that.
"I want to go home, I don't want to debate anymore with you. I'm tired ”I say while standing and leaving him alone in that place. honestly I'm afraid, I'm afraid of losing him. Her attitude lately is really different, so it's getting even more indifferent.
Dika's attitude has really changed drastically. Especially since he found out that I was very close to my brother, Rizky. Also if I still communicate with Rudi often.
"My brothers are all boys. So it's only natural that I approach them. You trust me. I have no feelings at all with them "I said trying to explain when he asked this. But still he misunderstood everything. I can only surrender.
Dika and I often make noise lately. Our relationship was stretched, like something was blocked, who knows what. Dika who was considerate, now increasingly ignorant of me. I once asked him that, it's just that he answered my question with another question.
"You should also realize why I can be like this. That's because of you too. You are like a child. After a while I am bored with your attitude "he said with emotion.
"I realize I'm selfish, I'm like a child. It's all because I love you, I love you. And I don't want to lose you "I'm already unable to hold back these tears. My eyes are filled with tears. A clear water came out of the corner of my eye. Yes I cry. Cry in front of him. He looked at me crying in front of him. He apologized to me, but I just silently ignored his words. Coming home from meeting him. I did not contact him, even though he repeatedly called me, but I ignored him.
I told this incident to my three friends when we met at school.
"I've also guessed from the start of Nis, you and he will often fight like this. It will often disconnect, and it is all because of your own attitude, "said Gita starting the conversation.
"Hush, you can't say that, Git. And you Nis, you must remember. Your struggle and effort to get him is not easy. You can't give up like that. You have to be patient, so you have to change little by little. You can do it, there's nothing impossible if we want to try. Get rid of your attitude that is rich in a child "said Fania trying to calm me down. "That's right," Siska said. It's a relief that I have told all my three friends about these problems. Everything related to Dika, I always tell my three friends. Even though Dika doesn't like this, she doesn't like it when I tell her about my three best friends. because of its tendency to be indifferent, introverted and reserved. "I just don't want it if many people know we are dating," said Dika at that time.
Thursday, I have an extracurricular training schedule today. I followed the Marching Band. I really like music, that's the reason I chose this extracurricular. It so happened that today Dika also has an extracurricular schedule, he follows the martial arts extracurricular at school.
"Nisa, if you've already gone home, let's wait for me first. We go home together, ”said Fania while shouting from a distance while I was walking wanting to pray at the school mosque.
Today's training is the same as the previous days. Playing a musical instrument. Studying the United Nations in the Marching Band. And the routine after finishing the exercise is sharing with the seniors. Today's training is over, I walk towards the front of the school. But not yet in front of the school, it suddenly rained heavily. I ran in the shade near the security post.
Fan, where are you? Is the training over yet? I'm already home, I'm sheltering near the security post. Hurry up and come here if you come home from training.
More or less like that the contents of the short message that I sent to Fania. I waited for a long time. While waiting for Fania, I saw rain. My reverie recalled the past 2 years with Rudi. "Rain has a story about us," I thought to myself. I woke up from my daydream when the sound of a cellphone rang. I looked at the screen carefully. Rizky's name was clearly written there.
"Yes Haloo" I said loudly, do not want to lose loudly with the sound of this rain.
"Where are you? Already in the afternoon why haven't you returned yet? Your mother is looking for, people tell me what! " his voice made my ears noisy. Huh Rizky is a habit! He is the most talkative when everything is related to me.
"Yes, sorry if I didn't tell you, this is just the next day. Then I want to go home, so I have been waiting for it to end ...
"What? Extracurricular exercises? Heh you told you never to participate in any activity at school. You know that you can't tired yourself, you forgot about what happened yesterday? " Rizky continues to talk but I don't even listen. I remembered Rizky's words earlier. During the holidays yesterday I was hospitalized, the effects of exhaustion and a lot of burden of thought. That night I fought with Dika. And in the morning I don't know why I have a lot of nosebleeds, even though in the afternoon I have an appointment with Gita to go to school. But I was forced to tell Rizky to tell Gita that the event was CANCEL.
"Hey, you said, do I listen to me or not? Why are you silent? Now I'm going to pick you up now! " his voice snapped.
"Mmm, eh, after your voice is noisy. There's no need for me to go home alone. "
CLICK!
I was forced to hang up the phone from Rizky. Suddenly I was surprised by the presence of Fania beside me. He just laughed at the look on my shocked face.
"What the heck is Fan. It's not funny, you know! Eh, I will return later. The Ujan hasn't let up, I also want to wait for Dika to practice martial arts. When it's over, I'll be here soon. Want to accompany me? Pleaseee ... "I put on a weld face while whining like a child in front of Fania so she would accompany me.
"Hmm, what should I do? Yes, it's already okay. "Instead, you'll be dragging me down" Fania said with a laugh. Fania is the one who understands me the most. He looks more mature than me, especially his attitude. So if with him, I'm like a child. When the rain had started to subside, and only the drizzle was there.
"Eh it's Dika" Fania pointed to Dika who was walking towards here. "You and him go first, yeah, I want to buy a drink first in front of the school," said Fania while leaving me. If there is Dika, Fania will always leave, she always gives Dika and me the chance to be alone.
"Eh, Fan, don't be like that," I chased Fania forward. I'm not used to being alone with Dika. So I decided to wait for Fania.
"Let's say they want to go home together. Do you want to go home together or not? " say hello Dika. Which was then followed by his friend who was behind Dika. I'm angry, upset, disappointed in Dika. Even though we already promised to go home together. But why is he with his friend instead?
"No, let's go first!" I answered curtly. And Dika just left, like nothing wrong at all.
I'm angry and very angry. I reflexively threw my cellphone into the street. I cry. Not only once did Dika do something like this to me. But many times. Dika always arbitrarily cancel promises without a reason! Fania immediately ran towards me. He took my broken cellphone on the street, he also took a card that fell into a ditch.
"Nisa hey! No need to be like a child, can you? Look at your cellphone, it's gone. If you do something, think twice about it. Try it. Let's go home. Don't cry anymore "invite Fania. I obey. I walked behind him. I don't know what I did before, I'm really angry with Dika. Dika is so mean! Along the way I just cry.
"Dika is evil, Fan. He just like me, he just left like that. Even though he already promised to go home together, but what did he try? I said defensively.
"Just leave? Hey, I saw Dika. He offered you, but your room refused! " said Fania which made me immediately speechless. Fania is right, but still, Dika is wrong.
"But Fan" my voice was cut off. "Still, Dika is wrong. When she is never sensitive to my feelings, she never wants to understand me. Nothing should always be understood by him. Why does he never understand me? " I cried more and more.
When I got home, I activated the number by using a tablet. My cellphone broke when I slammed earlier. Suddenly there are incoming messages. From Dika, I was surprised when opening a message from him.
From Sipit
HONEST ANSWER! Earlier you slammed your cellphone? What is broken? How much did you buy the handphone?
I thought, how did Dika know that my cellphone was broken. It was definitely Fania who told Dika.
To Sipit
Yes, I don't know dear. Never mind about it, there's still a tablet. We can still smsan why this. Sorry
A few minutes later Dika returned my message.
From Sipit Your
attitude is like a small child. I don't like it if you are like that. It's better to just break up. After a while I was bored with your attitude. and you need to know, so far I've never been in love with you, and will never love. I'm just sorry for you, and my love for you is just because I want to restore your kindness. And now it seems like my taste in you is already frozen, like to Riska before. I don't have any taste for you anymore. I just think of you as my younger sister, sorry.
RISKA? Why does it have to have that name? Riska is Dika's cousin. They were close, even very close. But everything is different when Riska prefers his girlfriend over Dika. From that moment they became distant. Dika threw away the taste to Riska. Even though Riska always begged Dika not to do that. but it's useless, Dika's attitude is hard, he might not cancel his decision.
And now Dika will do that to me? I do not want, I love and love him so much. I do not want Dika to do that. why this quickly Dika discard the taste, right? I cried, in the corner of this room. Nobody knows. I tried to write a short message to Dika, with the rest of my strength. My tears never stopped.
To Sipit
In this relationship let only me who has a sense of love and affection, you just feel it. You don't need to reciprocate that taste. I hope that I have the strength to endure all this. And if someday I feel tired with everything, sorry I have to go, I'm sorry dear. But I'm begging you, I don't want us to break up. Give me a chance.
Dika replied again.
From Sipit
Actually, I could just give you another chance, but it's useless. You will definitely repeat that again. I asked for time, I want to be alone and do not want to be disturbed. Sorry.
Not finished the problem between me and Dika, now there is another big problem. Rizky's girlfriend called me, two days ago Rizky had a girlfriend. He told me everything.
"Eh just so you know. Rizky is dating me because of coercion. He wants your manas! He told me everything about you. He didn't want to date from the beginning because of you, you are a special person in his heart. And much more. I feel bad if I have to tell you everything. So you should just ask Rizky yourself. I'm tired of hearing your name which he always calls in front of me "I was stunned to hear the words of this woman. I really did not think that Rizky has this feeling for me. We are brothers, we are very close. And it seems impossible if there is love. I cried more and more, why is everything this complicated?
The next morning I felt unwell, my body was not fit. Last night's events really stressed me out. I usually go to school with my cousin, Rizky. This time I went alone, I still remember the voice of the woman who called me last night crying, from now on I have to keep my distance from Rizky, I don't want more people to be hurt by our closeness, including Dika. When entering the school gate, I saw Dika. I can only see it, without being able to touch it at all.
It's been a week more than cold to me, his attitude is cold. I tried to contact him by text but never replied, the phone was never picked up, in facebook chat only seen. Just the checklist that I saw there, it means that Dika has seen it, but why doesn't he reply at all? Every time he met in the school area, he just kept quiet. I tried to greet him and smile, but Dika did not reply at all. I'm getting confused with everything. The relationship status between me and him is not clear. Either still dating or just run aground because of the silly things I did at that time.
Even lately I often see him with other women. I don't know what the status is between the two. I never wanted to be quiet, it's just that the evidence always seems real before the eyes. Only Allah knows. I just hope that what I see is not what I imagined. A week ago he decided to end this "RELATIONSHIP".
And until now my heart still remains for him. Sometimes if you think logically. For what I am dating someone who even he never loved me. But that's how women, everything always uses feelings, no matter how great logic. Well I can't lie to my feelings for him. I love and love him so much. To date…
It is true.
Love never asks, it always gives.
Although sometimes what is given is never appreciated,
but if it is love,
then whatever pain, jealousy and disappointment
All will be lost when remembering love It's
just that if love is always wasted
Then he will choose to go .
And I realize now.
I feel too much pain than happiness
I have to go ...
All this fatigue is no longer able to feel anymore
Let me alone with this love
Let only me who has this love
Because Love always gives not asking and without expecting a reply.
END
