If you think of Vincent van Gogh's paintings, you will feel intense emotion and connection. But apart from his paintings, how do we see or perceive the artist? I often read online how people see him as a crazy man who cut off his ear and ate paint. All these stories and dramas, which could be true, made a funny character out of him.
“A great fire burns within me,
but no one stops to warm themselves at it,
and passers-by only see a wisp of smoke”
― Vincent van Gogh 🌻
But the Vincent van Gogh I know earned my utmost love, admiration, and respect.
Van Gogh was encouraged by his mother to draw at an early age while his Father wanted him to become a minister just like him. At 16 years old, Van Gogh started working in the art world ― not as a painter, but as a dealer who sells paintings of masters in his generation. He did that work for 4 years before becoming a painter himself.
If you thoroughly examine how he sees the world, you will conclude that the artist is an intense person who wants to have a deeper understanding about life. And perhaps that is the reason why his paintings connect to every individual up to this day.
_“Normality is a paved road: It’s comfortable to walk,
but no flowers grow on it.”
― Vincent van Gogh 🌻
Vincent van Gogh does not conform to the standards. I'd like to say he is a rebel with a cause. A person with burning desire to paint what he feels rather than what he sees. At that time, Impressionism was only starting to bloom. It is considered to be the first distinctly modern movement in painting. Its originators were the ones who were shunned by powerful academic institutions.
Did you know that he reads the Bible and even considered becoming a priest at one point of his life? But as he studied closely within the church, he discovered things which made him an enemy of the church, so he made art his new religion.
Despite being called a genius later after his death, why Vincent van Gogh only sold one painting in his lifetime?
There are countless theories and debates as to why this happened; even one scholar claimed that Theo, an art dealer and Vincen't brother, sold one self-portrait of the artist over a year before the sale of The Red Vineyard which was believed to be the only painting the artist ever sold in his lifetime.
One of the many stories is that when the art collectors backtracked Vincent's given paintings to his friends or paintings exchanged for food, they found out that many were discarded and one was even used to fill the hole in the roof of a chicken coup. It was also believed that the fame scared the artist because of the society's expectations with his works. And he also feared that people would think of his brother's help as favoritism because of their relationship, and this pushed the artist to look for art dealers elsewhere but failed because of the first story stated above.
On top of that, Vincent van Gogh was not a people person. He has the gift, yes, but he doesn't know how to market himself and his art. And by the time he reached his prime, people started labeling him as a crazy person which lead him to an asylum. He spent his remaining days there until he committed suicide 2 years later.
“What am I in the eyes of most people — a nonentity, an eccentric, or an unpleasant person — somebody who has no position in society and will never have; in short, the lowest of the low. All right, then — even if that were absolutely true, then I should one day like to show by my work what such an eccentric, such a nobody, has in his heart. That is my ambition, based less on resentment than on love in spite of everything, based more on a feeling of serenity than on passion. Though I am often in the depths of misery, there is still calmness, pure harmony and music inside me. I see paintings or drawings in the poorest cottages, in the dirtiest corners. And my mind is driven towards these things with an irresistible momentum.”
― Vincent van Gogh 🌻
I'd like to believe that Vincent van Gogh is an INFP, just like me, who feels too much and who forever carries deep-seated sadness within themselves, yet still able to love deeply when we set our minds to things we feel extremely connected to. See, I am not romanticizing mental illness, but the idealism he showed were enough to make me believe that he is such a special person who's scarred for life.
And I ache for him as much as I ache for myself.
“It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength,
and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much,
and what is done in love is well done.”
― Vincent van Gogh 🌻
Related Sources: Link 1, Link 2. Thank you for reading and namaste!