Hi freewriters, it's Abeegail, it has been a while since I last posted and that is because it has been a while i pick up my pen to write. I've been feeling unmotivated and drained when ever i pick up my pen added to the fact that I've been quite busy with school. I met a very beautiful soul and he also writes poetry and he told me to write something new, so i decided to share it with you.
This week I cried till my eyes turned inside out,
This week I stopped trusting and let this doubt sprout,
This week I crumbled and watch everything fall apart,
This week I listened to Ethan, until I know the lyrics by heart.
This week wasn't easy, all the pent up feelings threatening to spill,
This week I tried to end it all because all the ugly things swimming underneath made me ill,
This week I prayed for a fast remedy,
This week I chased after my dreams endlessly.
This week I felt cursed, sent to eternal damnation,
This week I felt I was beyond salvation,
This week I felt like I wasn't enough, like Abeegail wasn't who she was meant to be yet,
And this week I felt so unstable, I began to fret,
This week I felt like I was drowning, I tried to swim up but my problems weighed me down,
This week I actually thought I would drown,
I tried to talk but my lungs was filled with everything, except air,
This week I prayed, shout, scream, and I swear.
This week I hid my dark side from every preying eyes,
I wore a smile that hid all the lies,
Like I didn't pray for it to all end now,
But I'm still here somehow.
This week I hated every version of me to have ever existed,
I got the authentic Abeegail blacklisted,
This week somewhere, I died inside,
This week I nearly gave up, I've tried.
This week I fell apart but pick myself up,
I put on some shitty music and did my makeup,
This week I fell in love again, I fell in love with living
Things aren't so bad, I'm finally learning,
This week I stayed up for my love of looking at the moon,
And I thought maybe I should let myself be loved too,
This week I felt bubbly and bright
Even more than the sun, God!!!! What a sight.
This week I cried but it was from intense laughter,
And I call my friend right after, we talked all through the night, till the morning or thereafter,
This week I felt light, like I weighed nothing
Because my friends erased my problems, like it was nothing,
This week................ I met a beautiful soul,
His angel like presence made me whole,
His smile radiant for a thousands miles,
And it's contagious because I'm not just smiling for pretend
This week I look stunning, I nearly fell in love with my self,
This week I got stares that made me feel weird,
This week I talk with most of my friends,
Even though loneliness wanted to make amends.
This week I cried and laid out my pain but this week I let someone see that and love me anyway.
This week......................
It's still Abeegail ✨💗
Thank you for Reading.
Images used are mine.
