I think one of the best lies being sold to thyself is claiming "I'm posting content for myself alone". You think that maybe keeping a diary for your personal thoughts and opinions would have done the job better. Nope, you share the stuff on the blockchain or any social space for the possibility that you can hook an audience. For the possibility of connecting with like minds or at least give the invisible crowd a piece of your mind.
This the case I like to make about appreciating authenticity in people. While one would like to find themselves surrounded with people who are honest about their thoughts and feelings, the reality is far from what actually happens.
It's unreasonable to expect an average person to accept everything their peers are. Some parts of an individual or group traits one surrounds themselves with can be in conflict with one's personal belief system but in order to resolve that cognitive dissonance, one limits potential scenarios that foster conflict in exchange for social acceptance.
You'd like someone to be real and honest with you until they say outright what they don't like about you.
Let this sink in for a moment.
Not all forms of honesty is pleasant or helpful for survival. We survived as a species in groups because we had to focus more on cooperation and downplaying our differences in order to get ourselves to be in the best chance of survival.
Of course we don't find ourselves often in a life or death situations during peaceful times. But the game is still being played, you either get into the network and play nice, or be casted out to fend for yourself. Now for people who are self reliant, that's great but most can't walk the thorny path and prefer the comforts of being in a group.
It's even more foolish to walk the thorny path if you can avoid it but some people get a kick out of this bravado to go solo.
Having been around people that manipulate and people that you wouldn't see hurting a fly, I can say for certain that it's not the people you dislike on first impressions you need to watch out for. Remember, betrayal does not come in the form where it stands in front of you poised to strike. It stands right near you with a knife in hand ready to stab your back.
People who are upfront vocal about their thoughts may need some exercise on the restraint department but it's these types I'd find comfort interacting with because they usually let their intentions known.
Be honest to yourself, not every person in your circle wins your favor and some of the negative opinions you have about them are kept at bay and best left inside your head to avoid conflict. Now no one will know your dark side. Now you can continue walking the earth like prim and proper as if your shit don't smell. And guess what? you're not the only one who does this, think of the nicest person you know and can you imagine them committing atrocities to mankind? hard to imagine right? well they haven't really gave any events that could sway your opinions about them otherwise. Any person who is good can do evil when they are under the wrong circumstances that force them to become monsters.
Carl Jung just mentions this as the shadow. That other side of us where we think of ourselves as the best person until someone triggers us and the inner nasty comes out in ways we least expect. This is human nature at work and even the nicest people can transform into monsters. We don't want to be tagged as judgmental for the derogatory connotation but our mental gymnastics to scrutinize which people we want to surround ourselves with is being judgmental at work.
This is why I don't mind being surrounded with people that I have potential to be in conflict with. It's not the hostile ones you have to mind more, it's those close to you that tells you the pleasant things you want to hear because they know how to soothe you right. Well isn't this just being too critical with people? This is human nature at work. People still have redeeming qualities despite their shortcomings and these are the reasons why people that can see past one's pitfalls become prized possessions in your social circle. If you are used to a social environment with little social friction, you're going to have a hard time. Trying to resolve social conflicts is a skill developed by time and time again being immersed in hostile interactions.
Naturally, people who are still rude to you still aren't attractive. But they aren't the ones that are going to drive it in where it hurts when you least expect it.
We all have our inner demons we negotiate with just to keep our social mask intact. And we are used to the lipservice that we want authenticity from people until that authenticity brings out our shadow.
You read a shitpost.
Mystery User from the Internet.
