If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company.
― Jean-Paul Sartre

Yesterday I wrote about why we need to cherish our solitude, the difference between being alone and feeling lonely, and how it is possible for some people to attain peace and equilibrium by embracing aloneness. I also pointed out that to truly enjoy someone's company, we must first learn how to be happy on our own.

It is quite understandable how we were forced to learn the meaning of happiness by society's standard. We were taught that it is something we need to acquire. It is a conditioning difficult to unlearn as we grew up listening to love songs repeatedly, watching romantic and fairy tale movies and believing in advertisements.

Temporary happiness can be achieved by buying nice things, having a lot of money, being with friends, moving to another city, and traveling the world. But we bring ourselves wherever we go and we can still be lonely even in the midst of the crowd. Happiness is not something to be acquired, it needs to be awakened within our hearts, and to recognize that it has always been there the whole time. Happiness comes from within.

Happiness is our natural state. Happiness is the natural state of little children, to whom the kingdom belongs until they have been polluted and contaminated by the stupidity of society and culture.
― Anthony de Mello

When I was traveling, I learned how to be alone and not feel lonely. Sometimes I still feel sad, but the feeling goes away easily. It is perfectly normal as long as we recognize that we don't need to stay in that emotional state. We can still be happy even when we are sad.

After traveling for a while, I missed my own routine. I miss those things I truly enjoy doing alone. I know that I can still do these things when I am traveling but after a while, there's nothing like coming back to your own place and not having to see any more strangers. To be comfortable on my own, to create a life I don't need to escape from. Long term travel and being location independent is not a bed of roses, it is not real freedom, and running/moving away all the time can be tiring. I belong here, to myself. Happiness is here. It can't be found anywhere else in the world.

So I'm going to share some of the things that I really love doing when I am alone. It helps me to stop thinking for a bit and it makes me live the present moment.

I like going to a local coffee shop and observe the rhythm of passersby and other people's lives from a distance. I love to read a book and immerse myself in another world. I don't need to travel.

Recently, I come to enjoy going to the cinema alone. It is actually nice to sneak some snacks into the movie theatre, go to an empty aisle, then sit back and relax.

I actually like to go to a restaurant sometimes and pig out. I like to treat myself, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Playing a musical instrument is one of the activities that let us truly enjoy the moment. What else to think about? We are only focused on playing the right chords and being in tune. And once we got it, we are happily singing. I feel happier when I can practice playing my favorite songs.

I like going to the pool and swim laps for exercise. This was what I really loved before I had traveled, and now I am convincing myself to go back to this routine. I have to convince myself to wake up early every day, which is actually the hardest part. I am only allowed there during the morning and it's free. I actually agreed with the schedule the pool guys gave me in hopes of being able to embrace self-discipline. One of these days, I will just go without thinking if I need to have a coffee first. That's it, I'll just go.

Yet another crazy cat lady! What could be more companionable, pets don't make me feel alone. When I go out, I like to say hello to cats and dogs, and not to the owners. People can ruin things for us sometimes, and yes, they can make us feel lonely too. But pets are the best companion, they can be loyal and unconditional. They need our love and attention, and they make us feel happier in return.

Walking on the beach and waiting for sunset were the things I also loved doing when I was traveling. It happened that I stayed close to the sea without much tourists and lovers, and wow, I felt happier.

I don't happen to live by the beach now, but it is not really far from where I am staying. I feel lucky to have access to one of the best beaches in the world, and that I can also go if I want to make myself feel better. Walking on the beach is one of the things I truly enjoy when I'm alone, it gives me time to reflect and rejuvenate.

There are so many things that I truly enjoy doing and the list goes on. It is really up to us to determine the activities and simple things in life that make us feel happier, even without the others.

If we are used to being around people all the time, then it is time to learn how to live without them and to be on our own. Whether we like it or not, nothing really lasts, even our loved ones can go, no matter how hard we avoid not thinking about the harsh reality. We can only enjoy our moments together and appreciate their presence in our lives. At some point, we are back to reality - born alone, die alone. It does not have to be that grim, but we can only make the most out of our short time here on earth.

If we have hobbies and we know how to make our minds busy all the time, then there should be no such thing as boredom or loneliness. The world is big and our time is short. Be creative.

What are the things you enjoy doing alone?

Be honest.