While I was aware of the high suicide rate here in Japan, this was the last thing I ever thought I would have to contend with, especially the death of a junior high school student. My student. I will call her Murika. And while I hardly got to know her, there is one image that stands out to me. She was passing me in the hall way while I was on my way to class and she merely looked away from me. But that look in her eyes, in hindsight was not only sad, it was piercing.
She was being bullied I learned. And while this is a touchy topic which I will try to write about in another post. Her parents blame the school. In Japan, nothing much happens, in the sense that crime is very low and so when something like this happens, it is big news. In my first semester, the school was highlighted in a negative way. The Japanese mind set is that the teacher is like a parent. The question therefore was, how could they have not seen this coming. It was negligence on the teachers' part Murika’s parents claimed. That was almost a year ago, and recently the went to the media complaining and again, our school got more of the attention they were running from.
I hope I don’t seem inconsiderate for not talking more about Murika, I hardly knew her. I also don’t think it is my place to talk about Japanese culture and society in a critical way. Is bullying a problem? Should the Japanese do something to address it? It is not my place to say. The only thing I can think about when I remember her is that look in her eyes. It was as if there was a cry for help. But even if those eyes were crying out to me, I don’t think there is much that I could have done. Not being able to speak the language, and being unable to maneuver the cultural landscape makes that level and depth of interaction necessary to address their problems is virtually impossible. Plus I am a foreigner, and the Japanese are quite suspicious of outsiders.
And so one asks oneself, what to do when you receive another HELP ME stare, do you just stare back? Or do you reach out in some way. It is hard to explain this dilemma, especially from someone I really didn't even know, but whose stare is forever etched in my mind.