One of the repeated patterns I am seeing recently (to epic proportions) is that of raging and blaming against the actions and behaviours of others, who are hated, without realising that the angry person is also doing exactly the same thing as the one they are angry at. This also plays out in all manner of theorising about others and needs to be felt to be understood - but can easily be noticed just with logic.
Without going in to all the gory details, this pattern of unconsciousness, combined with judgements and denials is apparently urgently needing to be brought into focus and understood. I have lost count of the number of times that someone close to me (who has experienced significant trauma and who has not healed yet - so has a backlog of unprocessed anger, fear, resentment and pain), has raged at other drivers on the road who have not driven 100% perfectly. It is understandable to be angry with others in such situations, since our lives may be at risk and anger feels a need to be protective. The problem arises due to the reality that in most cases, it is totally obvious that the EXACT same driving patterns in other drivers that act as triggers for the anger are also driving patterns that this person does themselves regularly!
What stands out is that they tend not to get so angry or even notice when other drivers make other mistakes or bad decisions that they themselves do not tend to do! There is a connection here that needs to be explored.
The blame game
In cases of blame and projection onto others when there is no valid, logical reason to do so there is often due a mixture of beliefs which connect to feelings of a loss of personal power, combined with an attempt to shore up the self with self reinforcing thoughts, such as 'I know more than most people', 'I am the perfect one', 'People are idiots (except me)' and so on. These do little to provide the substance needed to be the best version of self possible and are instead a kind of spiritual band-aid that 'looks good' to the mind, but which achieves little in the long run. The blame of others is a way of deflecting away from feelings of insecurity and loss of self respect or feelings of safety, which may have roots in the 'fight or flight' principle which is often resorted to to keep us safe. In our unconscious state, we do not notice that fighting or running are not the only options and neither are appropriate when we could instead just learn what we need to learn about what we need and make the called for changes instead.
When the lack of self esteem/valuation and self respect has become a problem internally and denial sets in, there is the real possibility that old emotions that need expression/release will start to be inappropriately expressed in response to external triggers. This is also part of the blame game, where we accuse others of all manner of things that may not even make logical sense - as we strive to just 'feel better'. In reality, there is no need to rage at other people though - we simply need to allow ourselves to rage in private - deliberately - to clear old charges and allow emotional response to come into real time.
Why do we blame others for what we ourselves do?
In many cases, I can feel there is a desire involved that wants things to be perfect and to feel safe. This is not wrong, yet there is also an unconsciousness present where the conscious part of the self are not noticing or fully aware of the feelings involved and what they were originally caused by.
There is an interesting phenomena which you might notice and feel more once it is pointed out. We are all connected energetically and this connection is not stupid - it is intelligent. Karma is a process of drawing experiences that we can learn from in order to have balance and when we are dysfunctional internally, we may draw to us others who 'act out' our own dysfunctions in order that we might learn. They may eventually trigger us emotionally into a space that allows us to notice what we had been missing - however, blaming rage often has us blind to any new information as all it wants to do is blame and rage - it is not receptive to new understanding.
For example, if I am driving a car and I always drive too close to the vehicle in front of me (as I am stressed/angry and 'racing') - I may draw to me others who do the same to me and then my anger will be pointed at them instead of at the people in front of me who are 'in my way'. As long as I am continually blaming them, I am deflecting away from my own participation in the situation and my own causing of the point of attraction between me and the other driver. However, once I maybe acknowledge I am doing this, then I will be forced to reassess why I am angry, my anger will be reduced and I will be left mainly only with the underlying anger which has been powering the situation all along. If I am wise, I will stop what I am doing, drop into that feeling and seek its cause in me.
Our lack of emotional intelligence needs healing now
None of this would be much of a problem if we collectively paid close attention to our emotional needs and what our emotions are trying to tell us. If we listened to our feelings even 30% as much as many of us listen to our phones and computers, we would be doing much better than we are on average!
It is very common when we have neglected our own emotions and/or have been traumatised in the past - to project those feelings and neglect onto those in our present reality, when it is not they that caused them. In extreme cases, this can result in entire stories being fabricated about the object of the anger - which may or may not be based in a half truth. The problem really accelerates when in a state of discomfort and perhaps panic, we search mentally for the answers and fill in the gaps with judgements instead of seeking the deepest and most accurate truth.
Once we have begun a process of relying on judgements instead of facts and once we actually call these judgements 'facts' - we are digging ourselves an ever deeper whole and will eventually meet our own match that forces us to correct our errors or risk hugely increasing our own suffering.
May all beings know unconditional love and full consciousness in this life.
Wishing you well,
Ura Soul
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