I was falling; I was walking; I was crawling; I was still there; I was really drowning. Always there, but never near to reach. I never intend to let the meaning of single thoughts and chaotic words slip into my fingers. I was coming down for my visual hours, days, or years. Always searching, wandering, and hunting were all great things for me. I captured a lot of things at once with my camera, and pictures of them stuck inside my brain.
I saw marble palaces, vast seas, and deep forests. I even saw horrible strange creatures that surprised me. I have seen some animals as big as rocks or as small as butterflies. I couldn't hold them in my brain for more than a moment. As the pictures disappeared, I realized that their presence was being misunderstood. These memories taste a lot like rotten fruit left in the sun, and they smell like spoiled dairy foods, bitter. Why do you look like that? "I asked myself. We haven't found those who brought us together yet. "I replied. One by one, they floated out of the scene, in the hard place of my mind.
Day by day, I get crazier and crazier, sinking deeper and deeper into the endless loop, and I fall deeper into that loop. Always capturing everything in my mind, but the feeling that nothing. I tried to ignore these feelings many times, but I couldn't. They let me go. I thought, what if I miss them? What if I steal them from someone else? I will grow and nurture them and make them mine. I can feel it would be fair. Why do others find them effortlessly, even if they don't work hard or hunt like me? It's just unfair after all, I think to myself. All this is neglecting me. I should get fair.
After a while, I continue my regular hunting, waiting for the right one or to steal. I caught a few after trying, and I let them all go. Instead of drowning, I follow the one that grabs my attention and follow it. I walk behind it silently, its strong earthy scent coming to me; I breathe deeply and enjoy.
Suddenly a picture of a colossal fort appeared in my mind. The grey stone appearance of the walls has mixed and blurred it against the distant storm clouds. The bright sun from above is staring at it, and many windows, like ink eyes, are staring into the void of emotion. Foggy golden domes surround the gigantic fort, and its bright colours sparkle in the distance. The gold domes contrast against the grey weather.
That's when I came up with a hundred different ideas that could happen in this strange place. In a war-torn country, this place seems to be the only haven. At the bottom of the castle is a monster hiding in a dungeon, which a group of brave warriors must kill. Just as it appeared, the image disappeared, and the possibility of its disappearance with it.
[Fiction]