“God, when will it get better?” I whispered while brushing my hand through my face to clean the tears that were beginning to drop down my cheek. Slowly and quietly, I drew away from the window to sit on the tiny space left on the mat where I would spend the night.
It was midnight, yet I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t take my mind off Anike, my schoolmate who had it all. She would come to school in the most beautiful cars I had ever seen and walked like a princess in training to become the queen of the world someday. Her backpack and lunch packs were usually neatly packed and carried by the house helps and all she needed to do was come to school, study, mix and play in the most decent way she could, and walked back into the beautiful car that would be outside five minutes before the closing time. Oh, how perfect her life must be. “So, when will I get my perfect life, dear God?” I asked again while cleaning the uncontrollable tears rushing down my face.
The last time at school when were asked how our holiday went, she mentioned with so much joy, how she enjoyed her one-month holiday in India, then the United States of America before finally returning to Nigeria. Hm. “When will I be able to finally say this?” I whispered. My holidays had always been from farm to our tiny space, and repeat. The most interesting part of my holiday used to be snail hunting with my siblings because that was the easiest way to get nourishing meal. “Dear God, when?” I repeatedly asked until sleep found me.
The morning came, and off I went to school smiling and greeting the people along the way. I got to school to see Anike waiting with her dad at the school entrance. “Good morning, sir”, good morning, Anike”. I greeted. “We were waiting for you” she exclaimed. Drawn back, I wondered what they could be wanting from a child of nobody like me. “Since you’re a scholarship student, I believe you must be very brilliant.” Her dad interrupted my thought. “So, I want you to be Anike’s best friend so that you can help with her studies”, he concluded.
I struggled to speak because I didn’t understand how to respond or what to feel. Anike’s touch jolted me back to reality. She held my hand and thanked me for agreeing to be her friend even though I had said nothing.
We would study, talk, and play together. One day when we were having our usual talk time, I said, “I envy you”. I told her how I think her life was perfect and how I wished I could go on trips like she did with her family. I mentioned how my holiday routine didn’t change over the years, and how I really looked forward to enjoying something different from the rural life I was used to.
She listened carefully to how I analysed her life, smiled, and said, “nobody has it all”. the trips she made to India and the United States were for health reasons. She has sickle cells and the major reason she transferred schools was because she was bullied because of her health. She wanted to experience genuine friendship and love, that’s why she approached me after carefully observing me for a while. “So, don’t want what I have” she concluded.
It took some minutes before I realized that my mouth was wide opened. I couldn’t process what she had said. I mean, why will someone beautiful, calm, and comfortable like her have the sickle cell? Why can’t everything be perfect for her? While I was thinking, she took my hand in hers and said, “thank you for being a true friend”.
I got home later that day at my usual spot to think of how the seemingly perfect greener pasture I saw on the other side was not perfect after all. I decided right there to enjoy my life and enjoy every moment while I try to build the greener pasture that I want for myself.