If stubbornness were a person, it would be me, and the fact that I am a changed person still amazes me a lot. If you know me very well now and someone happens to tell you about my childhood stories, you won't believe it.
I am certain you will ask again if it's the same Princess Dara because I look like someone who can't finish a hundred naira fufu, but I was a complete terrorist as a kid. Even my husband didn't believe many of my childhood stories I told him until my mom repeated those stories, and she was like only God could have changed me from bad to good.
I was quite stubborn, but it's always for a good course; sometimes it turns out bad, but to me, I was doing the right thing. My stubborn nature started the moment I understood what it means to cheat someone.
I hated the habit so much, and it was always like a nut was removed from my brain whenever someone was being cheated on around me. It's a good thing if I can interfere immediately, but when I can't, I always feel like something is burning me up.
Iya Ibeji (Mummy Twins), as everyone called my mom has settled quarrels for me and other kids in the community countless times. It even got to the extent that she wouldn't even listen to other children's complaints and just beat me up, but instead of changing, this attitude kept growing.
She eventually gave up on me and always said that they would teach me lessons outside one day and I would stop this stubborn act of mine.
My image
Many people said I was like that because I was Idowu, the child that comes after twins. In Yoruba, they call them "Esu leyin ibeji," meaning "the devil behind a twin," so everyone believes I am evil.
Whether it's true or not, I don't care about those things and just do my things the way it is right. People look down on me at my appearance, and that's their mistake because they usually don't know what would hit them, and by the time they know, it's too late.
My elder brother, Taye, has been a very calm person since childhood, and I remember how he was bullied back then. He always bottled it up, but the day I knew, hell was let loose that day.
I went with my squad in school, and even though the bullies beat us, we made sure we hurt one of them badly. Our parents were invited to school, but my mom didn't know a bit of all that happened. I skipped classes and got punished, but involving my mom wasn't an option.
My teachers were surprised that I could be involved in all of that, but it doesn't bother me what people think about me.
One event that changed me happened when I was in SS2. I enrolled in a computer training center and always resumed there after school. Everything was running smoothly until one day when I caught my boss's husband in a hotel.
My elder sister works in a hotel, so I take lunch to her on my way to computer training almost every day. That day, I saw my boss with a lady and was shocked. I asked my sister if she knew the man, and she said he was a regular.
I felt angry and didn't know what to do. I pretended not to know anything and was just waiting for the right time to strike.
"Dara, go and get diesel for me," my boss's husband instructed a few days later.
I left immediately, but on my way there, I thought of that as a way of punishing the man, so I bought petrol instead of diesel and even poured it inside the generator before my boss checked.
He started the engine, and it barely worked for 3 minutes before it went off. Every effort to turn on the generator failed, and when my boss finally discovered it was petrol I bought, he started screaming.
The wife was mad at me, and I wish I could tell her why I did something stupid like that. I was followed home that evening, and they insisted that my mom must fix the generator. My mom argued, but it was on the form that anything I damage will be repaired by me.
The issue escalated quickly, and immediately a police officer was involved; my mom didn't have a choice but to pay. She sold something valuable to her, and it made me sad.
It couldn't expose my boss anymore; I cost my mom something important, and it was a big loss for me. I couldn't tell anyone what happened, and things changed. I started minding my business and barely intervened when someone was being cheated. Even if I do, my approach is always calm and not that conflict type.
My image
I am happy the habit is a thing of the past, and today it's something to laugh about.