Have you already stubbed your toe at the edge of a piece of furniture? That must be an infuriating and painful experience to the point that you already cursed the culprit. I had this kind of experience yesterday and my character was really tested after a heavy metal spatula fell on my little toe.
I was washing the dishes, when the spatula, out of nowhere, fell on its own and continued its dramatic decend directly to my little toes. A curse word came out of my mouth as a result of the impact. I tried to conceal the pain and continued what I was doing, but it was quite terrible, and the throbbing lasted longer than usual. Upon checking, I saw a blood clot formation, and swelling.
At that time, I was really furious at the inanimate object. I admit that was petty, but I needed to do something to release the boiling pot of water inside me. I tried to take a deep breath and compose myself, but unfortunately a few moments after, the anger took over. I grabbed the spatulla and whacked it on a gallon of water twice LOL. I really want to throw it in the garbage as well, but mother would be mad if I do that.
My annoyance diminished but not totally eradicated. I still feel irritated at the thought of despite my distance to the spatula, it found a way to smash my toe. Despite what happened, I continued washing the dishes. But at that moment, I was already in a bad mood that even seeing my brother sitting on the sofa doing nothing would literally irritate me. In fact, I was on the edge of yelling at him, but I came to sudden realization that the incident should not control me.
I remembered a quote from The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck*: “We don’t always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond.”
Yes, that the spatula incident is indeed infuriating, but does being mad and angry will do something to alleviate the pain. Does throwing a tantrum or letting others know that I’m mad would heal my toe? Obviously, the answer is no. So, what’s the point of letting my emotions control me?
I don’t have control over that stupid spatula, but I have control over how I respond to the pain and anger. My initial response was whacking the spatula on a gallon. Then I thought of yelling at my brother because I hurt my toe. It was unjustifiable and would make things worse, so I stopped myself.
I also had past experiences that would tell that I was carried by my emotions. Let that time be when I faced an awful heartbreak that made me lose interest in the things I once liked. I felt like something inside me just got tired of living. That awful heartbreak made me do several things that aren’t good and made me mad at the world. Although it was a natural and valid thing when you’re undergoing a shitty situation, it was still your own emotion and you’re responsible for it. I blamed the person who caused me pain, and even talked negatively about him but I realized at the end of the day it was my own feelings and it was my choice how to deal with it.
I love how things went from spatula smashing my toes to reflecting what I learned from the book, and now writing a blog about it 😂.
Back to the spatula incident, I finished washing the dishes and prevented a self-inflicted war with my brother. My toe felt better, and although not completely okay, I think it would go back to its good state soon. Maybe that spatula inflicted pain to my toe so I can apply what I learned from the book I have read. Still, a painful way to made me reflect 🥲.
