"Do you take this man/woman to be your lawfully wedded spouse, to love and to hold in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, till death do you part"
"Yes I do" says the man, "yes I do" says the woman and soon they are pronounced as man and wife.
I am a firm believer in love and a lover of love. Love is beautiful and powerful but the key to note is that relationships don't thrive on love alone. There are other necessities and tangibles that must come imto play for a relationship to stand the test of time.
A wise man once said..
"Marriage is the union of two complete individuals....Myles Munroe.
We go to school and after a series of teachings, we prepare for an exam, why then do we think that we can get married without preparing adequately for it. Life is in phases and stages and the phase to prepare for marriage is single hood.
Being single is not a curse rather it is time to get your head and heart focused on the right thing. The single stage is not a broken stage or a wallowing stage but a stage to build character and stamina which will be needed in marriage. It is a time to set things in their priorities, being far-sighted and able to shoulder responsibilities.
As a single guy eligible for marriage, what are your plans and aspirations? What steps have you taken to start at least one of them? Remember that the bulk of the responsibilities in marriage will rest on your shoulders. As a man, these four things are on you..
*Provision of shelter.
*Provision of food.
*Provision of home amenities and comfort.
*Payment of child's school bills ( if any).
The above listed should not be given to a woman as she is a help-meet and not the head of the home. As a lady waiting for marriage, what are your plans and aspirations? What preparations have you made for yourself before and after you get married? These questions need to be answered because life will go on after the happiness and dancing of the wedding day.
Sadly, these things are not intentionally thoughtf about, resulting in the aftermath...divorce. Statistics show a high level of divorce cases in this era and to me this implies that there is something we are missing in the formula of marriage.
No one who is divorced or is going through a divorce, prayed for such. They all dreamed of a happy ever after but sadly, life is no fairytale. Certain factors like physical abuse and violence, infidelity, control freak syndrome, disrespect, manipulation etc, are factors that can lead a couple to say "I don't", no matter how much feeling of love they have for themselves.
Divorce is very devastating especially when kids are in the picture. It portrays a wrong picture and mindset to these kids, marring their future. That's why divorce should be the last resort when all else fails to keep the marriage afloat except when life is threatened.
Before saying "I do" in front of so many witnesses, both partners should understand that there's no I in team and a team is what they will become once they're pronounced man and wife. Just as in a team, specific roles are carried out by the players, so also in marriage, specific roles are played by each party. Only when each party is carrying out their own roles will marriage be said to be effective. It's not a one day or a one time affairs thing, it is a process that lasts a lifetime.
For those who might have been negatively affected by some broken relationships or marriage around them, I empathize but I have this encouragement for you as well. Just because vehicles get involved in accidents, it does not stop you from having your car or boarding a vehicle to your destination. So also a failed marriage should not dampen the idea of marriage in you, rather learning from their mistakes and choosing to do better should be the motto.
As a believer in love and marriage, I hope to tie the knot one day with the right person but for now I'm enjoying my single phase, enjoying being myself and lavishing on my dreams, goals and aspirations.
Thank you all for reading. This is my response to day 21 #aprilinleo initiative.