Have you ever found yourself in a position where your actions are subtly influenced by someone else for their own personal or selfish gain? That is, you are controlled by someone through crafty, skillful and deceptive way. If you have ever experienced this, you will understand that it is often mentally traumatizing. Some of these manipulators have so much mastered the act that they can even bring in flattery to achieve their aim, while others can simply go for guilt-tripping and other forms of emotional manipulation. Here, we shall be continuing on how to beat a manipulator, which was started from the last episode.
The first point is to learn how to say a very firm "no." If you must overcome a manipulative person, then you do not have to be scared of saying a no without having to feel guilty about it nor having to explain yourself. It is by explaining why you have chosen to go with a "no" that you may begin to feel guilty about it. If something does not sit right with you, then there is no point in trying to accommodate it - just refuse it and do not feel bad about it. After all, you are trying to protect your life and your mental health. More so, what you allow in your life will not only remain but it will increase. If you allow a little manipulation, they will come with a bigger one because they know you will fall for it. But when you resist it at the initial, then you would have prevented a future one.
Some of these manipulator are mental warriors and they know how to throw their cards perfectly, but it is left for you to either accept it or refuse it. Do not let anyone leverage on your goodness to make you do things to your detriment. If you cannot say a no and mean it, then you will be played by people and at the end, you may become mentally hurt. The truth is that, even though you are to be good and to show kindness to people, you are not to permit everything in your life. You need to know the limit to what you can accept and then know where to draw the line.
Another potent way to deal with manipulators is to avoid engaging them in arguments. What is the point in starting what you know will not lead to anywhere? The truth is that these people have mastered the art of twisting people's words to gilt-trap them with their words, so do not give them that chance, and stay clear from any argument with them. If you have something to say, make it clear and concise. When they want to drag you to debate, just pull out and do not become argumentative with them for the sake of your sanity. You cannot win them in arguments, so it is pointless getting started in the first place.
The next one is to focus your attention on the truth and on the fact - do not allow emotions to distort or becloud your perception of reality. What manipulative people do a lot is to try to twist the reality or mask it so that it will become distorted. This is where you need to separate sentiments and emotions from the fact, so that you will be able to tell the reality. You have to also learn how to maintain your focus and do not let something else distract you from seeing the fact. Your focus on the truth will help to protect you from falling for the tactics of manipulative people.
In addition to focusing on the fact, you should also learn to call a manipulative person out when need be. When you sense their tactics of trying to manipulate you with guilt-tripping, for example, you can tell them "are you trying to make me feel guilty?" Or, when they disrespect you, for example, and they only see your reaction and not the action that led to it, simply refer them back to their own action and make them understand that you know what they are doing. When they know that you already know what they know, their tricks will cease to work on you and they will leave you alone.
Thanks for reading
