One of my childhood friends shared with me his experience with his ex girlfriend. She would do something wrong and she will come with emotional card and at the end of the day, it will look like the table has turned and my friend would be the one to apologise and make up for the wrong that he did not do. This was when I understood how real manipulation can be and it can take various forms, and attack one's emotions negatively. Here, we shall take a look at how to deal with manipulative people and beat them in their own game, so as to protect your sanity and your emotions from mental torture.
The first step towards dealing with manipulative people is to recognise the manipulation itself. That is, know when someone is making an attempt to manipulate you and the tool they are using for it. Tools like emotional attack, guilt-tripping, claiming to be the victim, gaslighting, etc. Trust me, people who manipulate people do not want them to know because the knowledge of it will definitely lead the way against putting a resistance against it. Once you have gained the knowledge of the weapon they are using against you, you can wage war against it and then be on the pathway of overcoming it. The first step to solving a problem, like I have always said, is to gain knowledge of the problem.
After you have identified the tools and tactics of the manipulator, the next step is to learn how to master yourself to stay detached from your emotions towards the manipulative person. One of their major tactics is to attack the emotions, but when you have detached your emotions, they will not exploit you emotionally. Learn to stay calm, unprovoked, and composed even in the face of what they want to play out. The truth is that if they cannot get your emotions, then they cannot get you. I am not saying that you should be hard-hearted or wicked, but you should try to limit how you get emotionally attached to things and to people who create negative influence on you.
In addition to staying emotionally detached, you also need to be able to set clear boundaries in your life. Let it be clear what you can permit and what you cannot. When you set a boundary, stick to it and do not bend it for them. They may try to make you to bend but do not crack under pressure and do not allow them to make you to use sentiments to do what you do not want to do, because this is one of their major tools. Remember that it is your life and you have the right to determine what you permit into it and how you want to live it without feeling guilty about it.
The next point is to limit the way you explain or justify things. The truth is that they will still not understand or rather, they will choose not to see things from your view, so there is no need to explain in the first place. In fact, the more you try to explain and justify things, the more they win over you and the weaker you become. Just know that you cannot win the argument against them so do not even enter into any argument with them. Anytime you feel the need to justify yourself, you should hold it because that is what they want you to do and by that, they will guilt-trip you. When you are answering a question, keep the responses very clear, concise and short, so that they will not be able to twist your words and use them against you.
There are sometimes that you do not even need to respond at all. This does not mean that you are snubbing them but that you just choose not to respond, especially when your words can easily be used against you. At a point, you will realise that one of the best responses to a manipulative person is to remain irresponsive. By that, you will disarm them from using your responses or your reactions against you. Always have in mind that your silence can neither be mis-quoted nor mis-construed. If you do not know what to say, it is better not to say anything at all so that you will not end up leading yourself into their trap.
The last point here is to maintain high level of confidence. Whatever you do, do not show your areas of insecurities or weaknesses because they will definitely target that area and use them against you. No matter what is happening, do not allow anyone to make you to doubt yourself or your abilities; stay confident and be at the top of your game. For the fact that they are trying to get to you means there is something they see in you which, most times, they may want to suppress - do not allow them to achieve it. Maintain your confidence and do not allow manipulative people to sway you off your feet.
Thanks for reading
