New Year

The new year is coming ... time to see if there are still things that I would like to realize in 2018. Besides the fact that I am very happy with the life I have, there is one thing I would like to change.

Eat healthy and exercise

Why is this not standard in my personality? I think it would be so incredibly nice if healthy eating and loving exercising would be just as easy for me as eating a chocolate bar or drinking away 3 wines. I mean ... once I'm in the flow of healthy eating and exercise, that's fine ... but then there comes the time that I think differently and then I'll go completely in the opposite direction.

This is what goes wrong

Then that voice comes that says; ahhh you can eat 1 plait of fries ... or a bar of chocolate ... or you can really miss a workout, that really does not matter. And then the voice goes on, missing a workout does not matter, you have to give yourself peace of mind girl and let's be honest, the most important thing is that you are healthy and that you feel good. Just enjoy a day!
And ...... there you go!!! It doesn't stop one time as a cheat evening...It's taking over...there goes the routine, the good habits ... and before I know it I eat everything I want and I'm back on the couch. You know you're in deep shit when you finally get a mail from your gym that they miss you....

I did it before

I started eating healthy and exercising two years ago. Feeling good after a workout and getting stronger every week.I did not give up ... didn't listen to my 'bad voice' and after 4 months I had the body what I wanted. (ok, it could be better but that's how a womans mind work).
I didn't use a scale, I don't believe in that. I believe in losing weight and feel it because your jeans falls off and see it in the mirror.
At that time when I looked in the mirror I was happy with what I saw and I wondered why I had never done this before. From the age of 18 I have been on and off of a diet but for the first time I had managed to lose so much weight and be satisfied. Satisfied is perhaps a reduced word ... it sounds crazy but I was really in love with myself and I swore then that I would never let it go that far again. This was who I wanted to be...who I was in my head. Not only the body, but also the feeling of being energetic, strong and proud of myself.

Quit smoking

Then I quit smoking..... Yeah, I think you know what happened next. I also knew what was going to happened if I quit smoking. The fact was that I became so terribly afraid that I would get cancer, it made me want to stop and don't let the weightgaining be an excuse. I didn't quit for myself ... but for the children. My mother and my husband's mother have both died of cancer. Both of us were young when we had to continue without a mother. So I know how it feels ...I know how hard life is without your mother...
The question that kept going over and over in my mind was; How could I ever explain to my boys that I got cancer by smoking? That I got cancer that had come from smoking and that I knew I could get it, but that I continued to smoke? I could never ever do that to them. So that's why I stopped. And why it succeeded, by saying to myself, every time I wanted to smoke, that my boys are more important than those cigarettes.
Downside is that I ate everything to get the feeling away ... and all the kilos that I had dropped off, I gained again.

MY MISSION

It takes a lot of effort to find the switch to lose weight. To really do it instead of a little ... to change your life and change your habits. But I'm ready again. The feeling I had when I had lost the weight is stronger than the voice in my head that tell me it's okay to eat unhealthy and I don't have to go to the gym..
I want this not only to get the body that I want but also for the energy you get when you live healthy.
I'm going to do it ... and I'll start tomorrow! Not January 1 ... but tomorrow! If I want it so badly ... why wait any longer?