*"That initial anger she had felt turned to sadness, and now it had become something else, almost a dullness of sorts. Even though she was constantly in motion, it seemed as if nothing special ever happened to her anymore. Each day seemed exactly like the last, and she had trouble differentiating among them."
-Nicholas Sparks (Message in a Bottle)*
A million thoughts.
A million different directions.
Ups. Downs. Spiraling….
Sometimes you become a prisoner in your own mind.
Feel like I’m just standing behind the glass watching life happen.
Not sure what I need anymore.
A change. Something different.
Need to be reminded that I’m still alive.
Want a reason to breathe again.
Legitimately tired of feeling tired.
Don’t want to talk to anyone about half the things I think about.
I swear people ruin everything.
Looking for answers to questions. But for what?
I could scream. I could cry. I could lash out, break some bones.
I’d take physical pain over emotional pain any day.
My favorite thing to do has become sitting alone, music up, just letting shit hit me.
Never had something so quiet and so loud at the same time.
Maybe I am crazy.
Or maybe I’ve just lost too much of myself.
Whatever it is, I wish I could figure it out.