7 days.

That is all that I have left until my life changes forever. 7 days. 7. Days!

I flew back home from Moscow, Russia around August 2016 due to illness which postponed the my trip of cycling from the UK to China. From that point I have gone through a series of mental challenges, the first obviously having to accept that I wouldn't complete my trip at the desired time I had planned in my life.

Not just this but I was having to fly back to the UK, a country in which I've tried to escape for the past few years and done quite a good job of doing so by spending 7-months in Southeast Asia and 10 and a half months on the road cycling from the UK to Russia. However here it is…

7 DAYS!

I left my job last Friday, what a relief! During my time I may have held quite a bit of disdain for my job, but on immediate reflection I notice what I’ve learnt through this time, especially as being someone who really is not in favour of a 9-5 job but did succumb to it. From my last day of work I had 10 days left, that seems like such a small amount of time compared to when I first arrived home not knowing when I would leave again. Again… here it is, 7 days. That is all I have left.

I don’t plan on returning back to the UK unless it’s an absolute must, I just can’t. It’s time to pursue a greater purpose, a purpose of feeling as a higher being internally, coming to terms with my own and others struggles through the understanding of compassion, a concept which is only growing more prominent within myself.

Do I look forward to landing in Kazakhstan one week today? Yes and no. I have this pent up fear of what is ahead of me, a foolish feeling of fear, especially upon realising that fear just makes me unhappy. I learnt this from Will Smith only recently where he talks about his experience of skydiving, check it out just below!

What are my fears? Well shit… the fact that I haven’t cycled properly since being home, I haven’t gone camping once in 8-months, I’m going to be lonely for long stretches of time, what will I do after the trip, what about keeping to being a vegetarian whilst living relatively rough, the heat (I’m really pale!) and more-so what will I do without my brother. In honesty this is a large chunk of my worries, but I do have plenty more.

Well, one thing that eases me is that I’ve done it before, I’ve cycled from the UK to China without training and any preparation, however I should have learnt from my mistakes in not training as I know it would make it indefinitely a little bit more easy-going. That’s my own fault, my own lack of learning from mistakes and I have to deal with it head on, no one else is going to do it for me. The major thing I take from the Will Smith video is the blissfulness at the end of the worrying; I hope that overrides my fear for the next week.

(Credit: https://giphy.com/gifs/starwars-3o7abrH8o4HMgEAV9e)

So what am I doing in my last week before I leave the UK potentially for good? Well I’ve dropped my bicycle (he’s named Brutus) off at the shop to get a last min look over and tweaking, sent off for my International Drivers Permit, arranging a plan for living after the trip (most importantly with my brother, which means getting him to fly out with me and prepare for totally different life with him in a new country), meet a few close friends, consolidate my thoughts, boost my positivity through mental preparation as well as internal reflection on my past trips, take last few possessions to the charity shop and well …. I think that is the majority.

I've got quite a bit to do in fairness, and I know this week is going to fly-by, it’s not going to be easy no matter how positive I am, but that is life, life isn’t easy and I know that, especially as having dealt with some life changing circumstances in my life. I know I can believe in myself without letting ego take over, I know I can be humble in my approach, I know I can impact others’ lives and vice-versa, it’s a terrifyingly beautiful step into the unknown and that’s where you start to really live as I’ve experienced, on the edge of your comfort zone.

I’m going through a period of my life where I’m understanding my emotions even more, I still don’t fully know how to as I like to put it, ‘regulate’ them. I say this because I try to just shut them off at all costs… I think this last paragraph is necessary, why? As I write this last paragraph in the coffee shop, I reflect on my time, I think terribly a lot about my brother as a tear escapes my eye as I listen to a song that always chokes me up due to being able to relate to… the song is just below.

Upvote, resteem, follow me on @hopefulvagabond if you fancy it? I'm a guy from the UK who's cycled from the UK to Russia, next up is Kazakhstan to China, beat cancer twice and aiming to open my mind through new experiences and people! I have to say honestly that any upvotes, resteems really will help me, especially in peace of mind financially these next few months - despite not needing much money to live on in general.

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