4 days ago my wife was admitted to a mental hospital
I posted pictures here every day for the last couple of weeks. 4 days ago I stopped. Why? Did I think Steemit is a bad platfom. No. Did I really want to post some pictures .... sure.
but ...
After an enormous battle of more then 2 years with mental issues, my wife finally broke down. She first went catatonic and when she came out of that she hit the bottle so hard I thought she'd die. I woke up in bed at three in the morning without her next to me. I found her in the couch downstairs breathing shallowly, have drunk an enormous amount of vodka. I stayed at her side until 7 in the morning, called her mom, and together we drove her to the emergency room, where she was promptly admitted to the mental emergency ward.
What happened next is probably the four most crazy tiresome, and also amazing days of my life.
This is not a negative post ... it's about hope and people.
first 2 days:
The psychiatric emergency ward
While my wife was sobering up, and getting valiumed up ... I just sat in the waiting/common room for 2 days. And boy, did I meet some marvelous people.
First off all ... the staff. The most gentle people alive. Soft, caring, never a harsh word. Just there for the patients an their family (who are just one step lower in pain than then patient himself, let me tell you, I know). Those people go above and beyond, answering all my questions, dealing with the most confused people, dealing with aggressive people, dealing with with bat-shit crazy people (not meant derogatory, I'll explain later :)
So the staff: hats off to you people! Compared to general hospital staff you people are saints!
But secondly ... and more importantly ... the patients. While I was sitting there. I met some people I would generally avoid if I would meet them in the street. And I'm ashamed of myself now, I'm ashamed I avoided those people. We call them crazy, disturbed, ill, freaks ... and they're just people like you and me, in enormous pain. They are in hell, when they're still alive.
Well except for that one dude who introduced himself to me as a bipolar in a manic episode. Let me tell you, that dude was not in hell ... he was flying higher then I ever could, and it was amazing listening to this guy, none of it made sense but he was rambling in the most mesmerizing way, he was the only guy who saw the ward actually as an all-in resort.
Then there was this old man, shaking as a leaf, I don't know what his problem was. But apparently his most acute problem was that he wouldn't have enough cigarettes to get through the day. He asked me to buy some for him, wanted to give me money, so I could bring him some when I came to visit my wife the next day. I didn't want to, I was only there for 2 hours at the time. But by the time I was six hours in, and saw what everyone there was doing for each other, I just ran to my car grabbed all cigarettes I could find and gave them to him, so he could at least have a little peace of mind.
There was my wife's roommate (In emergency, there's no option to get a single room). This woman was on every medication possible, she could start her own pharmacy after a relation went south. But she decided in a last after to be 'normal' again that's she didn't want to take medication no more, and went cold turkey on all of them. Guess how that turned out. This woman, who was very very nice and sympathetic (although very manic) during the day, turned into a banshee at night. Yelling to the demons she could actually see in the room. My wife who was in considerably distress herself started consoling het in the middle of the night until she was taken away into isolation and came back the next morning with wounds in her face and hands, normal again, but already dreading the next night.
And what I learned from all these people, is that they're just people, people like you and me, everyone of them once had a normal life ... these are not people you should avoid, these are not freaks, these are all good people!
Last 2 days:
After dismissal from emergency after two days, my wife lasted exactly 12 hours before 'mentally decompressing' (the medical term, I saw on her medical file) again. So that was it. After a bit of a panic, gathering some phone numbers, and having some talks with some people (can't remember the details, as it was very hectic). I asked my wife is she was ready for being admitted for a longer period. And she said 'Yes'. After more then a year of refusal, she finally said yes. This is where the hope comes in, she finally, sees that she needs some serious help. So I acted fast ... shit was ready and packed in 2 minutes and of we were. So no she's admitted in an open psychiatric ward for at least the couple of weeks. Same story there. Very very nice staff. Very very nice and respectful people, although I didn't meet many of them yet.
And here I am, extremely stressed, tired ... but also hopeful, typing this, knowing my wife is safe. Where she can't harm or hurt herself. where she'll get medical help.
But I've also been promoted to single dad of 2 kids - 5 and 7 years old. Doing a whole household - and keeping my kids mentally healthy with their mom away ... It's a stressy thought! So, for the foreseeable time considerably less pictures will be posted here. As my free time is greatly reduced. :)
But still ... This is post was mostly about hope ... and a lesson learnt ... There's no crazy people ... there are only people! Beautiful beautiful people!!!
(This is probably a very incoherent rambling - but It did me good to write it out - if anyone read it ... thank you very much for listening!)
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