I was in a “If I had known,” “if only” phase a while back, with so many things to tell the past me, things to guide her on, things to educate her on what is truly important. And that’s the thing about growing. With each day, we have things that we tell ourselves that we could have done better, things we tell ourselves that we could say better. Then imagine if we could have told a far younger version of ourselves these things. Would anything have changed? Or would we have meandered and circumvented only to end up right where we are now.
I believe a lot in the fact that things happen for a reason and that every thing, both good and bad, wins and setbacks, blessings and disappointments, led me to this moment. And while I can’t claim that this moment I’m living in to be perfect, I can still say that I’m at that point in my life where I’m grateful for the insights and the enlightenment that my past led me to.
But when it comes to minimalism, there are some things that I’d love my younger self to know. Things that I realised later and make me wonder to myself that maybe, just maybe, things could have been different if I’d known them earlier on. And in no particular order I would be naming just a few of those things.
The first would be to tell myself about the dangers of external validation through material possessions. I’d tell her that material possessions is no determinant of her worth as a person. That self-worth comes from within. As you think in your heart, that is who you are. The number or quality of things that you own does not change the fact that at the end of the day, you are you and who you are yourself on the inside is what determines your entire existence.
I’ll say this to her because I’ve been in different phases of my life. This phase where I placed value on material possessions was rather brief, thankfully, but it still made a mark. So yeah, little Tessa needs to know to avoid ever thinking like this for the sake of her future self, which is me. That she should never confuse possession with identity or happiness because she is more than what she owns.
Another thing I’d tell the younger version of myself is to focus on meaningful relationships. I’d advice her to focus on experiences and personal growth, rather than whatever negatives cloud her past. Minimalism has taught me to go after fulfilment and the things that genuinely bring me happiness on the platter of simplicity. Meaningful relationships, meaningful conversations, meaningful experiences.
And that brings me to yet another thing though I think it can still be factored under all things meaningful. And that is to embrace simplicity and clarity. Don’t get your relationships with different all complicated and mucky when you can just simplify them. Don’t let excitement push you into mucking (if that’s even a thing) the waters of the people that you deal with on a daily basis. Seek for clarity in all aspects of your life. Don’t assume, ask. Be sure. Clarify. It reduces stress and just makes you more productive. In practically everything.
And I think the last thing I would tell my younger self as it relates to minimalism is that minimalism is a personal journey. It has nothing to do with deprivation or being in lack but about intentionally living. Intentionally living in all aspects of your life. So you know to embrace every aspect of your life with gratitude. To know how to live for you. To cherish every moment and live each day with the understanding that everything you do, every activity you participate in, needs to count.
You need to intentionally live for you. So you’re not buying this pretty dress because you feel that as a minimalist, you should deprive yourself from the “finer things of life,” but because you’re okay in the sense that whether you get that dress or not, it does not define you in any way. You get it because you want it, and if you don’t, then it’s still okay. Minimalism isn’t a do or die affair. It doesn’t make you any greater or less. It is basically a personal growth journey where you learn to live simply and intentionally for you. And your fulfilment.
And that’s about it. I’m grateful to the Minimalist Community through the #KISS initiative for this reflective prompt. And then to my younger self, you didn’t know all of this but that’s okay because you learnt it now. And you’re way better for it. Better late than never.
Jhymi🖤
Images are mine.
