Chase experiences, not things...
Has become a bit of a cliche, hasn't it? It sounds like the sort of cutesy tag you see on someone's Instagram that doesn't weigh much in their actual life. Well, it does in mine. When I saw this week's MINIMALIST prompt about minimalist birthdays, I immediately felt a tiny bit guilty. I'm someone who makes a big deal about birthdays. My own, I won't lie, but also those of people dear to me.
Why? Because people are extraordinary. I think them being here is extraordinary. I think their being in my life is an extraordinary bit of luck, and I wanna honour that.
So at a first glance, the words "birthday" and "minimalist" don't seem to work very well for me. Thank God for second glances. After I thought about it a bit, I realized that wasn't quite accurate. A lot of people understand birthday celebrations as a fancy dinner or whatnot, some kind of elegant, expensive outing, and an obligation to show up with something nice. I've been to quite a few of those celebrations. Kinda feeling like I was living on auto-pilot while there, you know?
This is where we should be. This is what we should be doing. Yet how come it's feeling second-rate?
I'm not big on laborious, over-the-top celebrations like that. If I'm being honest, I just don't care about hip little restaurants, or pricey gifts. I won't say no. Sometimes, they're really cute, but mostly, they fall into that living on auto-pilot bracket. And I can't do that.
So instead, I go places. It's become a small sort of ritual for me. Every year, at the end of January, for my birthday, I like to go someplace. See something. Be aware of the world as I don't know it yet. My 18th was Ozzy Osbourne in London. It was crazy, and scary, and one of the coolest trips I've done in this life. Because it was my 18th, I also got some pretty nice things, including this gorgeous jewellery ensemble. Gorgeous. Very elegant. I think I can count on one hand the occasions for which I've worn it in the ensuing 6 years. That's the way with things, isn't it? I find expensive objects have a great impact value. You look at them and go 'wah'. But how long can you draw out that sound before you gotta close your mouth, you know?
16-year-old Honey, under @ladyrebecca's shadow. Not my birthday, but who cares? Skipping through my archives, I remembered how much I love this photo.
My birthday's been in a bunch of places since. I remember in 2021, I wanted to swim on my birthday. I love swimming a lot, but all pools were closed here because go tyranny, and it was too cold to swim outside. So we just bundled on a bus down to neighbouring Bulgaria, where the pools were open. It was extremely lucky, really. I think they started asking for Covid tests (or even vax? Not sure) right on my birthday, so pretty lucky we'd gone down a day early.
Last year, as you know, was Seville, in Spain. And as I sit here now, I wonder where next year's gonna be. 25's a pretty round number, innit? I should make sure it's kickass. But that's the thing, they all end up being that. Even a small, poor town in Bulgaria was kickass because it was sticking it to the machine, and because, floating in the pool as I got a little older, I felt free.
There were also birthdays when I went nowhere. My 20th, I was supposed to be in Dublin, but changed my plans. It wasn't a bad birthday, not really. It was pretty damn good, actually. But I'll never again turn 20 in a quaint, jolly Irish pub. That's just gone forever.
Gone forever is a frame of mind that I carry with me even when it's ugly or scary or a little mean. It's the thought behind every birthday celebration. I don't know if it's minimalist. In terms of things, sure. I find, the older I get, I prefer practical things, if thing it must be. Best thing I got this year was a new yoga mattress. I use it every day. That's what I call a good gift.
Minimalist in terms of spending? Not really. Not always. But that's alright, since they're experiences that are never ever gonna be quite the same as they are in this particular moment, and to me, that's worth all the money in the world. I don't wanna be one of those people who hoards money, 'cause that ain't a very minimalist mindset, either. It's still hoarding, at the end of the day.
So rounding back to the theme, I don't got any particular rules about birthdays. But I'm lucky enough to have a small circle who understand me well-enough to not spring for stupid, flashy shit, and (if they gotta get something) get something that's gonna be useful. Like my yoga mat.
So if you gotta get me something, think in terms of that. But I'd much rather you came someplace we've never been before with me ;)
