Today, my friend was telling me her favorite thing about me is how I don’t even judge people. I laughed and told her that’s not true. We all lowkey judge people silently, we just don’t say it out loud.
She still said I’m way better than her, and that makes her admire me because with what she has seen me go through and still come out the way I am, I should be able to condemn people for not surviving the same things.
And to be honest, I get her. You know this thing about humans where we feel like we are way better just because someone went through something we also went through but couldn’t come out like we did? Let me give you an example. So one of the things I saw a lot of my colleagues in senior school do was to go out with older men for money.
Yes, I said senior high school not university. And I never judged them for their actions. I never felt I was better than them. I never made them feel dirty in any way. And during that time, my parents were going through some serious financial struggles. They kept it from me, but I knew because the money they were giving me reduced.
I mean, that phase was for a short while, but it was very tough for me because I couldn’t afford most of the things I wanted as a girl. I always got the things I needed but the my girly wants? My diaries, my Barbie pens, and other girly stuff, I just had to forfeit. But I was content. So content and strategic that I could even save from the little I had.
I don’t know what my colleagues were going through for them to do what they did, but the fact that I went through financial struggles and didn’t do what they did, did not make me feel like I was better than them. It didn’t make me feel like I had the right to judge them. It’s everyone and their choices. And maybe I chose to arrive at ten through the addition of 5 and 5 because of my upbringing and understanding, they chose eleven minus 1 because of something else too, which I believe is fine.
When I was growing up, I didn’t really appreciate all these, but now? I’m always making myself proud with my thought process and all. And for my friend to even admire me? Mmmm, I know I’m on the right track.
Images are mine
