I don't understand why God loves you so much. You are given good people who always surround you and are willing to help whenever you whisper that you need help. I don't know how you seduce God, what I know is that you must have given up a lot of your time to talk to Him. Just like two people who get closer because they often exchange news, I think God also loves you so much because you are who always tells stories and exchanges news with Him.
I remember when the morning was accompanied by light rain and cold temperatures, from the window I saw you were sitting in class reading something, even when I deliberately came early because I had to do homework. I thought, "This guy is so diligent, he has broken through the cool of the morning that makes me even want to pull back my blanket".
Time goes by and unconsciously my activities are more focused on observing how you are in everyday life. The smile that never fades, the gaze that is always calm, the speech that is always polite, also the voice that you never raise even though the situation is very hot and I'm sure you are very upset. But you always keep your mouth very well.
At first I was offended when I wanted to talk to you but you smiled politely and went to your friend's seat. I thought you were disgusted by sloppy girls who didn't have as good manners as you, but I was wrong, you respect me.
That November was the last time I saw you in front of the podium, leading an accountability report in front of all student representatives as well as the teacher council and my admiration for your skill in choosing diction was even greater. How can you answer in a warm voice without emotion to those who continue to corner you in front of the legislature, even though it is clear that the teacher councils have praised your leadership for the past year. I'm sure they're just jealous of you.
Time flies even when we stay still in the same place, and I feel that time is so evil because it moves so fast. Because it means our separation is getting closer.
That morning, after we carried out the UN simulation, I found you sitting quietly in the school mosque. As I expected, you spend a lot of time for God, it's only right that He loves you a lot too.
I ventured to wait for you in the hall of the mosque, I just felt that if I had to steal a lot of tactics from you, how could God glance at me, so that I would be loved by Him.
As usual, you sat on the opposite side quietly while putting your shoes back on. With all the courage I've cultivated for a long time, I call your name,
"Al,"
All you do is look around, then put your shoes back on. Not sensitive at all.
"Al Fatih, hey!" this time I raised my voice.
You turned your head for a moment then nodded politely, "Yeah, what's wrong, Sis?"
I want to grumble, it's fine to call Big Brother, do I look that old, huh?
"No Brother dong, we are the same age, really. My name is Myesha”
“Oh sorry, how about it, Myesha? What do you need?"
Opportunity hahaha, "I want to ask a lot of things, do you have time?" then your forehead creased.
"About what, huh?"
“About the way you seduce God”
“Seduce God?”
"Yes, seducing God. How can you be a perfect figure in the eyes of humans? Dear mother, father who taught you leadership, a very beautiful and understanding sister, brilliant academic, very impressive speech ability, good emotional control, even if I think you are also handsome" I said with a blushing tone at the end of the sentence.
You smiled faintly, very thinly. To the point that I feel that I will not realize if I don't look at you carefully. Sweet and shady. Your smile is so calming, Al.
You cleared your throat briefly, “Myesha, how could I be such a perfect person. You're just interpreting it from your perspective as a creature of awe. You are dazzled and think that I am a diamond that dazzles your eyes. I feel so perfect and flawless. It's all just an illusion though. I look perfect because Allah covers all my faults and shortcomings, He is indeed very good—”
“But that's because you are also loyal to Him. You spend a lot of your time chatting with Him.”
"What was your purpose in the world for what, Myesha?" and I'm silent.
"You think it's just for fun, a waste of time, and not considering worship in the slightest?"
"Where there is, I pray, really" my answer made you chuckle a little.
"Do you think that worship is only prayer? Worship is a lot, Myesha. And the little things that we take for granted can also turn out to be of worship value. Everything good that you start by mentioning the name of Allah, in sha Allah will be counted as worship for you."
"I'll say goodbye first"
That afternoon you left me with extraordinary uncertainty. lol? Worship is not only prayer, fasting, zakat, and hajj, right?
And I never thought that day would be our last meeting. The next few months I even began to sink with all the preparations for entering college as well as the exams that felt like a river flowing, very fast.
Even on our graduation day, I didn't find you among the happy faces that were full of draws. You don't see it anywhere. I've even been around every corner of the crowded building, hoping to meet and congratulate you too. Because my mother even cried when I said I would cover my nakedness. Mother is very excited to find a Koran teacher for her child who she believes will receive guidance from God for being obedient and a little sane. But I didn't even find your existence when your class was called one by one to the graduation stage. Until the event was over, I found you.
Your face and name are on the main screen. Your smile is shady, as usual. The sobs of the teachers and other friends colored my hearing. You go. The day before we celebrate the success of our education for the past 3 years. You left, even when I didn't have time to say thank you.
The prayers that were read by our religious teacher in front of me seemed to be just the wind in my ears. What I heard in my head was your answers in the mosque and your laughter at that time.
My eyes heat up. Hey, how can you leave me when I'm sure I really love you. How can you go so far even when there are so many people here who love you. How come, Al? You are so brave.
My eyes are getting hot when I see your mother who can walk gracefully also smiling faintly up the stage. You're the best graduate, Al. Don't you want to celebrate? Don't you want to brag about that to people who don't like you? To the people who cornered you in court at that time?
Your mother is very graceful, even anyone knows that her heart is broken because her beloved gem has already passed away to the Almighty. The look in his eyes reminds me of how you stare, always gentle and calm. With a soft voice—like yours, he represents you up there.
“I am very grateful to the entire academic community at this school. Fatih I grew up very well in an environment of supportive friends as well as teachers who are very nurturing to their students. I'm sure he would be proud if he knew his name was named as the best graduate from this school. Many people think that it is parents who teach many things to their children. But as a parent, I would add that children can also teach us many things. Mother, Father, I am very grateful that God gave me the opportunity to be the mother of a child as good as Fatih. Sometimes I even feel he is more mature than me. He never once raised his voice at me nor his father. We learn a lot about attitude from our children. When he told about his friends at school he was very enthusiastic, he said Allah is very good for surrounding him with good people. He always said that all the complexities of life must exist, but it is how we deal with the complexities that will determine how the complexity will pass, with us learning lessons or passing without us having time to make it an afterthought. His departure came as a great surprise to us, although he apologized every day because he said not only me or his father could leave at any time, but he too. So as a representative of my family, I also apologize to all school members if during their time together and getting to know your son, there were actions or words that hurt all of you…” but it is the way we respond to the complexity that will determine how the complexity will pass, with us learning a lesson or passing without us having time to make it an afterthought. His departure came as a great surprise to us, although he apologized every day because he said not only me or his father could leave at any time, but he too. So as a representative of my family, I also apologize to all school members if during their time together and getting to know your son, there were actions or words that hurt all of you…” but it is the way we respond to the complexity that will determine how the complexity will pass, with us learning a lesson or passing without us having time to make it an afterthought. His departure came as a great surprise to us, although he apologized every day because he said not only me or his father could leave at any time, but he too. So as a representative of my family, I also apologize to all school members if during their time together and getting to know your son, there were actions or words that hurt all of you…” although he always apologized every day because he said not only me or his father could leave at any time, but he too. So as a representative of my family, I also apologize to all school members if during their time together and getting to know your son, there were actions or words that hurt all of you…” although he always apologized every day because he said not only me or his father could leave at any time, but he too. So as a representative of my family, I also apologize to all school members if during their time together and getting to know your son, there were actions or words that hurt all of you…”
And the next thing that sounded in my ears was an increasingly loud sob. My gaze is still fixed on the woman in front of you, your mother. His face didn't show the slightest bit of sadness. I'm sure you will be very happy. Apart from meeting a lover who you really love, your family also let you go. Hey, tell me how I got that big heart.
It was a day full of reflection for me. Al, your departure makes many hearts drizzle. No wonder yesterday the weather was very comfortable, not hot nor raining. It turns out that the sky rejoices to welcome someone you love.
Thank you for giving so much meaning. Even though you may not know me, I will always pray for you. May your meeting with your loved one take you to heaven. Send greetings to Him from me who is still stumbling and grateful for the love from Him for each of His servants who are sometimes still blind. Hopefully someday we can be neighbors in heaven, yes.