As the youngest girl in my family, all I knew was the comfort of my family and the little neighborhood where I grew up. According to Mum and Dad that was where I was supposed to be closer to them. It was my responsibility to take care of them as they were getting old. So even after university, I still stayed back in my little community with only the faces I've known my entire life.
But deep within me, this fire needed quenching and the only way to quench it was to follow my dreams and step out of my comfort zone through a path where I could chase my dreams. I wanted to start a career for myself, but how would I do that when I was still living in a house I grew up Knowing? And no matter how hard it might sound it wasn't going to play a part in achieving my dreams
Every day I wished for something different. But tugging hard at the hems of my dreams was my love for family. They believe that the last daughter is supposed to be closer to her parents, especially when they're getting old.
It wasn't like I didn't enjoy the presence of my Mum and Dad or find happiness in that loud, coarse laughter from my mum whenever we cooked together in the kitchen. Or the excitement in my kid brother's eyes whenever I helped him with a school project.
I enjoyed it all and wouldn't trade their happiness for anything else, but while I found joy in them being happy, I knew within me that I was killing my happiness by not following that path I craved.
I would sit in my room and comfort myself with the fear that I knew nobody in Lagos, and even if I were to take that bold step, I was uncertain if it was the right choice. As much as it was tempting and thrilling for me to move into a new world, it was also scary for me to walk through that path far away from home.
It was as if I was stuck in the middle, my happiness against theirs, at the same time, my fears and my dreams.
One day I had a conversation about going to Lagos with a senior friend of mine. And when I had thought that she would advise me to stay back just as everyone else had. She pulled out a book from her bookshelf and handed it over to me.
"Sometimes, I try not to fiddle with family issues. But I hope this book helps you" she said.
I stretched my hands and took the book "Path to Enlightenment"
Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama from her.
I got home, and in my free time, I read the stories of people who were brave enough to follow their dreams. I was inspired.
A few months later I started applying for jobs in Lagos. Luckily, I was invited for an interview with an organisation I had applied for. Without having double minds I picked up my bags and travelled to Lagos.
However, it was a tough decision for me to leave my parents behind. But it was either my dreams or theirs. Now I do well to visit them every Christmas. The least I could do was to balance my dreams and my family.
I'm happy I chose this path and hopeful it keeps leading me to the right and bigger choices.