There is something about lying on the cold bare floor. It's soothing, or so I thought when I had to make the biggest decision of my life. I rolled to the left and then rolled to the right. What would my parents think? Would I have any friends left when they move forward and progress higher?
I rolled to the left and rolled to the right again. This may not be the life my parents wanted for me, but I wanted to find my path. I was curious about what life was going to throw at me.
What would life be like if I took some gap years?
Standing on my front porch and looking at the garden, my dad came in.
"Ruth, the university exam forms have come out and I just saw the one for your school. Tomorrow, go and collect the form so that we can help you with it," he concluded and started walking away. What he said was final.
"Daddy, I'm going to take some gap years. I'm not planning to get any admission. I'm not prepared for it."
"What did you say?" My dad asked, making me jump.
"Uh, I need to find my path. I'm curious about the world and how it would treat me, sir. I need to see what is ahead of me now," I finished. Dad was quiet so the only thing I heard was silence. Curious to see Dad's reaction, I turned and I did not see anybody. He had tip-toed away quietly.
I know Dad did not accept my decision and he always make sure he said it.
"Your sisters went to school immediately, but you always think of something else. I don't know what is wrong with you," he would always say.
But I have always known that my path was not the path of any of my siblings. I was only scared of checking it out alone.
I have lived my life walking on eggshells, being scared of so many things, but curiosity gave me the courage to try this one.
After deciding to take some gap years, I took a job as a marketer for a big company. I picked marketing because I may not be so great at my academics, but I'm very good at convincing people to try stuff, except myself.
I did great and I got promoted to being the senior marketer. My dad got sick and I was able to pay the bulk of the hospital bills with the money I had saved from my job. One day, he came to sit on the couch with me while I was reading a novel.
"When are you going to go back to school," he asked.
"Dad, I'm going to go back to school when I've saved enough money to sponsor myself throughout," I replied.
Dad looked at me with sad eyes. "You shouldn't have to do that while I'm still alive. I'm supposed to take care of you. Is that why you took gap years?
"No Dad, I took gap years because I wanted to try a different path, something different from my sisters. Not everybody needs the education to succeed," I replied.
"I am your father, and I want you to be educated. We are three months into the third year. You need education to polish your skills." he continued.
"Dad, I never said I won't go to school. I'll surely go but I want you to trust me and trust the path I'm taking."
He sits silently for a while, pats my back softly, and leaves for his room.
I have seen people study for years and they remain poor. I have also seen individuals drop out of school and take gap years to discover new things and find their mastery. It worked out fine for celebrated legends like Thomas Eddison, Steve Jobs, and even Bill Gates.
I studied their lives and I had so many questions. Was it so hard when they started? Are there times when they felt like giving up? Would I find what I'm looking for even after taking gap years? I was curious but I was scared. I should probably follow what my Dad wants because I would still be under his protection.
After several weeks of contemplation, my curiosity got the best of me. For the first time in my life, I staked on a heavy decision and like Thomas Eddison, it worked out fine for me.
I'm in my third gap year and I'll be applying for admission into the university next year. I've saved enough money and I'm going to look after myself. I'll also work during the school holidays. I'm going to study marketing at the University because that is who I am and I am grateful for my early discovery.
Thanks for Reading 😊😊
Here's my entry to the inkwell creative nonfiction
week 40