Know each other, communication and undestanding

"Whether you are here or not, there is no middle ground," she said, and it remains in my mind.
While I was at practice, these ideas were swirling in my head. The commander could say "Attention!", "March!", "Marking time", "Left!", but my mind was elsewhere.
It wasn't the first time she had said it; she had said it before. I understood the concept and knew that I wanted to be in history, not out of focus as she thought. I had failed, but I was in the process of correcting my mistakes.

All stories are beautiful and have happy ending filled with roses, accompanied by sweet kisses and sumptuous displays of affection. But life is not dictated by stories. There will be good and bad times. You could immortalize your life in those simple good moments, but you must know that a first-impression connection cannot sustain the person you love and protect forever. You must contribute more than just a connection.

As the sun made me sweat and tan, I kept that in mind: a connection is not enough. I had known for a while that two people will never think alike, so I measured my words and sometimes, if I said something, it could be misinterpreted.

"Everyone is lost! Especially you, Montilla. Don't laugh, you know you have to do it well for the graduation ceremony. And I'm not just focusing on Montilla, I'm talking about everyone. It's important to stay aligned and not scratch or move when standing at attention. If you do it now, what do you think will happen on graduation day in front of all those sea wolf captains? It will look bad. Come on, put some love into it. You're not kids, you're going to be officers soon," said the commander.

Although I could be immersed in the dilemma of my relationship, I could follow the commander's orders, but sometimes I got lost. You could say that about five times I didn't follow the command correctly. I wasn't the only one. I didn't look at everyone and think they were immersed in their problems.

The words continued in my mind: "I feel insecure with you. I don't trust what you say and I don't think you can improve. If you've told me you're improving and we both know it's true, what do you think can make you improve? Don't do it for yourself, do it for me."

She was right. I couldn't take away her credit for saying the right words, but they hurt my soul. Sometimes, you can become an obstacle. Believe me, that's the worst that can happen. You can project yourself as the knight who will fight to overcome any monster that crosses your princess's path, but what will you do when you realize there is a monster that you generated and it is yourself? How can you fight against that?

As we marched in the parking lot with the blazing sun that seemed to have come down from the sky and hung over our heads, my mind pondered the dilemma. I needed my space to solve that dilemma. Since I could remember, the problem had not left me alone. I had to have some solution.
"Come on guys! Keep the alignment!" Jefferson shouted in exasperation.

If a problem overwhelms me, I usually avoid it and let time give me the answer. However, some problems need an immediate response, and solving the situation I am in is essential. But I feel that every move I make to counter the monster I created only gives it more strength. If I remain passive, it grows in colossal steps due to my lack of reaction, and if I react slowly, it hits me and knocks me down. I get confused and lost, feeling the pressure of the monster's screams on me, asking me to stop and fight, challenging me to throw a punch. However, I know that wouldn't work. Therein lies the problem: doing nothing does not provide a solution to the problem, and doing something hastily does not seem to be the right way.

"To the left, about-face, halt, mark time, to the right, facing the national flag, salute!" Jefferson's voice echoed throughout the courtyard.

The sun made everyone protect themselves as best they could. Some wore hooded sweaters, others wore long sleeves and hats, some wore dark glasses to protect their eyes, and others went with their faces covered in sunscreen. Each one fought an internal battle to withstand the heat. I was no exception, but the sun seemed more pleasant than my dilemma.

"Not getting a solution shows that everything can end," Jefferson said, surrounding the group of graduates and observing us. "On that day, I might make a mistake in the command voice. You must remain motionless if I make a mistake. It can happen, and you must realize it."

I don't know how many marches we did or how many steps I took from 9 am to 12 pm. I just reflected. There were many more problems, but that mess had me on edge.

Hours passed, and practice ended, but I remained absorbed. I could be talking to my friends, but my mind was absent. I only responded in monosyllables and just enough so that they wouldn't notice I was on autopilot.

We stayed at the bakery in the terminal, surrounded by people coming and going, buying and being promptly served. The scent of bread surrounded us, it was nice to be there, and the air conditioning invited us to escape the noon heat.

However, no matter how much we escaped the heat, I was immersed in my spiral of thoughts. I sat there, listening to them talk about uniforms, papers that still needed to be delivered, tariffs that had to be paid, and the other expenses that came with graduation. Every time they asked me, it was like adding another problem to my brain, I was about to collapse.

Then they left, and I sat there for an hour, watching people pass by, waiting for a message that could brighten my day, but it didn't happen. Life doesn't have happy endings, there will be beautiful moments and bad moments. The good ones are enjoyed, but the bad ones are endured until the good ones come.