"Phyna, are you okay? You look pale and tired," she asked after scrutinizing my face for a moment.
"I'm fine, Honour. I just need some rest," I replied.
And that was the truth. I needed some rest, but the problem was I didn't know how to get it. Inside my school bag were three assignments from three different lecturers. Before my last class, my uncle had called and said he would love to have coconut rice for dinner.
My concern wasn't about cooking the rice, but about how I would grate the coconut. I kept praying for electricity so I could use the blender. Grating about six coconuts manually is not that simple, and I didn’t like it.
I was still lost in my thoughts when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
“Phyna, you can tell me anything. Aside from the fact that you're tired, something else is bothering you,” said Honour with a concerned look.
"See, you haven't even used the headphones you collected from me," she reminded me, gesturing towards the headphones on my neck.
“Oh,” I sighed as I put on the headphones and began searching for my stress antidote.
“Phyna, tell me, please... I promise not to tell anyone. Did some guy break your heart?” she asked, and I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear.
My cousin loves hearing about relationship stories, anything about love. And to her, nothing can make a girl sad aside from money and men. But in my case, it wasn't money or a man, but stress.
I was the only girl staying with my uncle and four boys. 80% of the household chores were my responsibilities, and I didn't want to fail in my duties. So, I faced both my studies and house chores head-on and got drained because I didn't know how to manage my strength and time.
My first year in Uni was very demanding. So many classes from 8 am to 5 pm and tons of homework. I wasn't complaining because it wasn't too much for me, but I struggled with managing my time.
Before starting Uni, life was peaceful with a constant routine. But after getting admitted, changing that routine was tough.
“Phyna, my mum is here,” Honour's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
“Oh! You're leaving,” I said as I handed her back the headphones.
“Good evening, ma,” I smiled at the beautiful woman in front of me.
“Good evening, Phyna. How are you?”
she asked.
“She's not fine, Mummy,” Honour cut in.
I didn't agree with her because there was nothing wrong with me, so I told her mum everything was fine and that I was just stressed out. She suggested taking me home herself, and I was happy about that.
On our way home, Honour's mum played ’Smile’ by Katy Perry. I didn't know the song then, but it was the perfect music for me at that moment. I remember taking a deep breath and smiling at my little self.
“Girl, there are so many things to be thankful for. Why worry when you can do it. Get up and be the attractive girl you are” I told myself, and my spirit became revived.
The chorus of the song resonated with the energy I craved and before I knew it I was singing along and my cousin joined.
I had a very different mood when I reached home. I downloaded the song and used its upbeat rhythm to power through my tasks.
There was no electricity so I did the manual grating of the coconut and went on to prepare the rice.
Within two hours dinner was set and I began doing my assignments. It was like I had a different spirit activated within me and I asked myself why I was worried about nothing. I remember standing up to dance around a few times while singing along with Katy Perry.
Scratch that, baby, I'm grateful
Gotta say it's really been a while
But now I got back that smile (smile)
I'm so thankful…”
The lyrics got me deep. I started preparing for tomorrow's activities in school. I placed a bottle of water in the freezer, it was a drying season so taking ice blocks alongside my drinking water to school is what I should have been doing to keep myself hydrated. I'm never going to let myself into that “stressed zone” again.
“Never,” I told myself.
But sometimes it happens, and when the pressure is too much that I can’t handle it, I find comfort in music, which never fails to uplift me.