Back then in 2009, I was in my primary 5. As a child, I was very quiet, naive and timid. Even a dog's bark can get me intimated. Those bigger than me saw that as an opportunity, they won't let me express my interest in something. They feel I have nothing to offer, this leaves me daydreaming.
In my school then, we have what we call Children's Day which is celebrated on every 27th May. On this date, all the children are seen in their uniforms neatly dressed. There are lots of engaging competitions like race, match past, singing, cultural display, etc.
The best first, second and third schools go home with lots of prizes for the school. This makes all the schools come out with good sets of pupils who have the abilities to perform well. With my qualities, they count me disqualified even with no trial.
Source
One day in class, after all the selected pupils had gone for a match past, those left out dispersed to different places. While some were playing, others were chatting. I had this constant frequent daydream that keeps replaying in my mind like a movie. Once I'm alone, I will begin to imagine myself standing on a Lantern, speaking to a large audience who are listening with keen interest, some with pens and books taking notes, others nodding in confirmation to what I am saying. I will be seeing people from different walks of life coming to listen to me speak.
But when someone taps me, I come back to reality to realize I am still that little timid, naive girl who is not regarded as something. One thing I love is making an impact but I lack that boldness to speak out. Only in my daydream do I feel so extraordinary like I'm two people with different personalities. When daydreaming, I see the bold me who can stand in front of a large group and make a delivery but in reality I see the opposite version that bold me.
2010 was my last year in primary school. I tried all I could to participate in that year's competition. I wanted something close to what I love and the only thing closer to it was debating. One has to stand in front of thousands of people to present that day and make points against the school one is competing with. I had a sweet friend then, who was trying to motivate me to be bold but it wasn't easy then.
Her encouragement and support helped me into getting into one of the competitions. I was selected after my friend spoke on my behalf, to join the cultural dancers. I was excited about it like I received a present. I joined them in the practices and I gave it my all to prove their thoughts about me wrong.
They saw my performance and felt guilty of depriving me all the chances of participating in other activities. They asked me if I still want to join the essay competition and I said yes happily. They gave me the topic and told me I will be the last contestant as they don't trust my ability yet.
Immediately I knew I had been selected, I began working to make sure I played my part well. I have seen what is related to what I have always daydreamed about. I had to meet with my friend, who helped me with points for the debate topic, showed me the body movements. I remembered how I spoke with confidence in my unseen imagination and that added a top up to my confidence level.
The day came, being my first time on stage, I trembled, my hands shook and my voice cracked but regardless I was able to make my points without passing out urine on my underwear. At the end of the debate, I knew I tried but it was not a good try as no one recommended my efforts but I was happy because I was able to do something relating to what I had been daydreaming about.
I grew up to study a course that turned my daydreaming into reality. Communication Arts gave me lots of chances to speak and impact on different sets of people. Not just that alone, my current job also helps me stand in front of people to impact knowledge without being shy, shivering or scared of the unknown.
THE END
I AM @marynn,
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