She was my friend, caregiver, my guardian angel who plays the motherly role so perfectly. I lived with her from my childhood. My grandma played the role of my mother, very kind, compassionate and loved to crack jokes.
I began staying with her right from when I was there years old, we sleep at night on the same bed. In the morning, she makes the breakfast, gives the portion that will be okay for me, then we leave the house together to either church, farm, or anywhere as I was still a kid.
It was in month of June 2008, we ate dinner and laid on a mat outside the compound as the June moon was sweeping the floor, illuminating the vicinity with a full moon. We stayed out gisting, cracking jokes, and sharing folktales. After a long stay, we folded our mat and went to sleep.
I was tossing round and swinging my hands on every part of the bed expecting to touch my grandma but I couldn't. That was when I realized she wasn't lying on the bed any more. I woke up, only to hear my grandma groaning in pain. It hit me so hard as I knew not what to do other than to shout and cry at that late hour hoping People would come to my aid but no one until daybreak.
My mother was called as the first daughter to come take care of her sick mother. She returned and we started spending every day at the hospital. After different tests, she was diagnosed with Appendicitis.
Everyday we spend at the hospital, her situation keeps getting worse. The operation was delayed due to financial constraints. At last, the deposit was made and the operation was done. But due to the delay, she was so weak and frail but she never lost hope of recovery.
When my mother left to go make food at home, I stayed with her, holding her hand and trying to engage her in a conversation but she wasn't strong enough to flow with me.
The doctors were optimistic and that gave me full confidence she was getting better. But one day, everything changed.
My mother was about to leave for home when my grandma instructed her to take me along. I couldn't hold back my tears more than to cry and refuse to go. My mother and the nurses tried to win the heart of now 11 year old girl with mild words but I refused to listen to them and this left my mom with no choice but to drag me along. After that day, I didn't see my grandma again as it was now only my mom that kept going.
One day, she returned and said "Your grandma is gone". The statement was accompanied with tears running down her cheeks.
I felt like something hit my heart, I couldn't believe it.
"But the doctors said she would recover and I saw it in her, she was strong" I said crying as I couldn't control my heartfelt sadness and pain .
"Doctors only try their best while God's will manifests''. She responded trying to make me understand.
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The biggest surprise of my life was losing someone who had been my rock and backbone. It was the biggest surprise because I didn't expect her to die so soon, she was still strong, vibrant and up and well doing until the Appendicitis struck her. I felt like a part of me was out of me. It hurts me each time I remember she left without letting me shower her with love as she showed me while I was a child living with her.
When she was buried, I kept reminiscing the memories we shared together and this made me dreamt of how she was plugging oranges in the evening at the compound. So excited, I ran to embrace her and she vanished. I woke up forcefully from sleep and cried. I remember her good deeds, care, love and teachings daily. She left a huge legacy and I am super proud of her. I keep saying if there is a world after, I would still want her to be my grandma.
I still miss her dearly and I hold tight the memories we shared, the laughter and love and teachings she impacted into my life. Even though she's dead, I still feel she's part of me.
THE END
I AM @marynn,
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