I had always struggled with maths till today. It was like a big formidable fear that no matter how hard I tried, I could never quite get the hang of it. Funny right, don't worry I'll tell you this funny story of mine.
My fear for maths nearly cost me a lot during my maths final for my West African Senior School Certificate Examination back then in secondary school, I was a bundle of nerves. Sometimes I feel ashamed to tell this story. I'm just better at writing and other things than maths.
I literally had no idea just how my fear for math was going to get that period. It got so serious to the extent that It turned me to a stutterer. Yes, you read right.
I couldn't tell whether it was because of the pressure and expectations that was on me to pass my final exams by my family. Dad had told me earlier as he dropped me in school then "Son, remember none of your sisters or brothers before you sat for this exam twice. Hope you won't?". And as a kid that loves making his father proud, I let the pressure get to me that my fear of not understanding mathematics was going to be a hindrance. Gradually, my fears began weighing me down.
Sitting in the exam room, right before the exams started I felt my heart start to race. The exam hall became so thick for me, filling me with anxiety. My palms were sweaty and shaking and I literally made sure not to walk around much before the exam because my legs felt weak. My nerves were brewing like the storm
I sat there praying nobody would notice how nervous I was, but it was too late. Michael, my good friend in highschool, always notices.
Micheal noticed my sudden weakness as he walked up to me. "Hey, dude, what's up? You are usually a parrot in the other exams why so quiet today?," he inquired,
Once it's Micheal, there was no way I was going to hide my fear because he wasn't going to stop until he found the truth. Besides, he knows me like the back of his palm. I felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me as I opened my mouth to talk and all that was coming out was stutters. "I-I don't know, bro. I'm really scared. I-I keep on reading b-but, I-I, no-nothing is entering this head of mine" I stuttered. " You know my issues with maths na. I'm scared". I added.
"Come on bro, you've made it this far so why the fear. You've got this trust me. No,we got this." He tapped my shoulders "just stick with me, I'll help you "
Soon after the exam papers were shared I opened the exam booklet and saw the first question: solve for x. Just looking at the equation sent shivers down my spine.
I looked from my paper to Micheal and I heard him whisper, "You can do this," it said. "Just take it one step at a time."
I smiled, gradually I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. Trying so hard to calm my nerves, then I glanced at the questions one more time and this time I realised that there were few problems I was familiar with. I quickly tried my best to attempt them.
Here's the crazy part.
As I worked through the problem, I found myself actually starting to understand it. Pictures of what I read earlier started flooding my memories. Like magic, through the exam, my confidence grew and I was able to attempt a handful of questions.
One thing I realised at the end of the exam was how fear and not being confident in yourself can make you lose out on a lot of things in life.
I walked out of the exam hall amazed at how well I'd done. I walked out of the exam hall feeling proud of myself.
Yes, I didn't get an A in the exam but I sure didn't fail it either.