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"Hey, seems like we're getting the fun side of you today, Marriott" Abigail asked, plopping down beside us.
"We are," Curvy quickly answered, giving me a cheerful tap on the shoulder. "He has been cracking me up all afternoon." She added.
I smiled. Not giving meaning to what Abigail just said.
"I wish I could be having all the fun too than dealing with Mr Akam our lecturer and his antics" Abigail grumbled while joining us at the cement bench Nina and I have been sitting on in the school garden, sandwiching me in between
Nina and I have been enjoying each other's company for the past hour. It was one of those rare, perfect days. Laughing like we've been friends since childhood. But instead, the three of us just became friends in school and became so close. Or so I thought.
"Sorry dear " Nina consoled her.
"Wait o" I said spontaneously, cutting short their little moment. It just hit me when Abigail said "What do you mean by getting the fun side of me today? I've always been fun na."
"Pfftt, you? Always been fun? Pfft" Abigail replied, rolling her eyes. "Make I hear word jor (please let me be)"
I looked from her to Curvy. Who looked away quickly from me.
"Curvy?" I called as if to ask her to be the judge of the matter.
"Ehhhh? (Yes?)" she replied nonchalantly, turning to me, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Look Marriott, sometimes you act weird. I mean, one minute you’re all in on hanging out with us and the next, you’re gone. It's like you're always blowing hot and cold."
"Hot and cold?" I replied getting off the bench. "Come on guys, wetin that even mean? (What does that even mean?" I asked, genuinely puzzled.
I looked at Abigail and nodded in confirmation of what Curvy said. "Look, we don't mean to be rude, It's just that sometimes with you, we’ll be having the best time, and then suddenly, the next day when you see us in school it's like you disappear or we don't exist and you get all distant from us."
"I don’t get it. I’m here now, aren’t I? We were having fun a few minutes ago, weren't we?" I replied frowning, trying my best to understand what they meant. "So you guys are not making sense" I concluded.
And to be honest, I didn't understand a bit of what they were saying. And I wanted to understand. I looked from Abigail to Curvy. My eyes asked questions that seemed like their mouths couldn't tell. Then I saw Abigail lean back on the bench, she tapped the seat. A sign that I should come sit down. I quietly walked back to the bench and sat down.
"Marri," she called me by the nickname they both gave me. "Apart from your friend Micheal, we're your friends too right?" She asked, placing her hand on my thigh.
I nodded.
"Great. So, do you remember last week, after exams, we were all supposed to hang out after school? We were super excited about it. Then, when the time came, you just... didn’t show up. You no even message us (You couldn't even text us, nothing)."
"I remember and I'm sorry. But trust me something came up. I told you guys later na."
Curvy shook her head vehemently "It’s not just about that one time, Marriott. There are several instances. One day, you’re just here making us, making everyone in class laugh and being the life of the party, and the next, you’re being so distant acting like you don’t even know us or you don't even exist." She made sure to stress the last word.
At that point, they were making sense. It was gradually coming to me what they meant. They weren't the first to tell me this. Micheal had too. In fact if he has not been patient with me, it could have cost us our friendship and I feel so bad about it. But no matter how I try to change it feels like that part of me is still stronger than my emotions or feelings.
I tried to talk, but Abigail cut in. "Marri, we’re not calling you a bad friend. It’s just confusing to us. What's wrong? It feels like we don't even know which Marriott we’re going to get the next minute. But we always want the fun side. Maybe not always but most of the time" She added, looking me straight in the eye.
The truth of their words stung, and I didn’t know how to respond. " I’m sorry guys" was all I could mouth with my eyes staring at the floor.
"We just want to understand. Why do you pull away sometimes? Is it something we can help you with? Are you okay?" They both asked simultaneously, Each reaching over and squeezing my hand.
"It's nothing serious guys." I answered looking from Abigail to Curvy "I guess… sometimes I just feel overwhelmed with everything. Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with you guys, but sometimes I just feel this need to be alone to myself. Maybe it's my introverted nature getting the best of me or just the need to recharge or something." I explained, surprised as to how I was able to truly tell myself the truth at last about why I was always blowing hot and cold.
Sarah tilted her head forward, looking at me straight in the face as if to search for the truth from my countenance "So it’s not that you don’t like hanging with us or we did something bad?"
"Nah," I said quickly. "You guys are one of my coolest, sorry, part of my coolest gang in school. Like a cult in a good way". I joked. "Like I said, I just have these moments where everything feels too much, and I need to step back."
Abigail nodded slowly. "Have you thought that maybe that's even when friends should be together? Communication would help. We’re your friends, after all"
I nodded. "I know.."
"Great so when next you're distant, we're going to bring you closer and talk about it. Deal?" She asked, putting out her pinky finger.
"I no Sabi do that una pinky thing but I agree ( I don't know how the pinky swear thing is done but deal)" I replied smiling and grabbing my school bag at the same time. Signalling that it was time we went home.
"But you know how to sign it on paper right?" She pestered, grabbing her bags too and pulling Curvy who was by now engrossed on her phone up.
I laughed hard. "I guess so"
"Great! Because tomorrow we're signing the deal" she joked.
Over the next few weeks and to this day, I've tried making a conscious effort to show my gun side. And even when I feel the need to pull away I try to communicate more, they on the other hand have been supportive.