As I flipped through my journal I was welcomed with dust *( I could say cobwebs infact but that would be an exaggeration) a testament of how long it had been since I last opened it.
My journal must have screamed in delight "oh, how I've missed you"... Sharing without a pause the beauty we had created together and the short notes I made about future writings and episodes of the podcast. It must have had high hopes seeing me return the way I did.
Source
As I picked up my pen to make up for all the time I was away, I could hear in a distance the buzzer, light had been restored in my apartment without thinking twice I dropped my pen which was ready to scribble, closed the journal, and returned it to the abyss of my bedroom drawer and jolted to the sitting room like a child that was told to come get some candy just so I could continue the anime I had started watching a day before.
After I had seen about 10 episodes of the anime I was plunged into darkness, "NEPA! why?" Was the first thought that came to mind, just when the anime was getting really interesting? Arghhh! However, I was unfazed as i picked up my phone to chat and maybe watch some interesting videos online.
Just as I turned on my data to start my exploration. The first message I saw was from a guest who was on a book launch that I had anchored a very long time ago. It is my culture to take the number of people I've worked with, I took his and kept in touch, nothing beyond the regular "how are you sir?" "how's work?" and the responding to his status that resonated with me.
Peter is a prolific writer and editor, it felt like he saw what had happened earlier between me and my journal. He quizzed me "What is going on? I haven't seen your post in a while" for him to be in my DM asking this meant so much to me. To put my excitement in perspective this is someone who has had his work published with international organizations and even had conversations with the famous Wole Soyinka on a work they did together for BBC.
So many responses came to mind, like the fact that I have been lazy and been using the time I could have used to write or record an episode of the podcast to watch Anime. I literally went into defense mode and blamed it all on my work at the office, the publisher of my podcast who had come up with a new rule that made recording and editing the podcast a bit more tedious plus how that the economy is something else, you have to think of this and that.
He understood, at least I think he did. He encouraged me to please resume soon because there are so many people who really need to hear from me. I nodded in agreement and told him I will work something out.
Few weeks passed
No... I didn't work anything out as I had promised. I continued with my old habits. As time passed I suddenly started to feel empty almost like I was missing something or like a part of me wasn't in place. I thought to myself maybe it's cos I was missing my girlfriend.
The realization of what was really missing dawned on me this faithful day at the office when I went to get cash at the teller point and on the screen of our 60 inches TV was a content creator being interviewed about his journey and he kept speaking on how there were time he didn't feel like it but he knew he had to and all those things successful people or motivational speakers say.
He didn't sound arrogant at all, it was obvious that he was serious about what he was saying. All that was going on in my mind as I watched was, I think I am more talented than this guy, remembering when he started, getting just barely over 20 likes on his reels, look at him now being interviewed on TV.
It was in that moment I knew what I needed to do and I was more determined than ever to share my content with the world starting from my little corner or any platform.
The universe has a unique way of working things out. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. I came across a group of amazing creators who have spurred me to do more, even more than I thought possible. They served as the last catalyst that was needed for me to finally heed the wake up call that I had left on hold for months.